Friday, August 9, 2013

Today's topic: Moving forward after a partner cheats 1

After infidelity: How to move forward when a partner cheats

Find relationship advice on how to pick up the pieces after a partner strays.
By Jessica Padykula
What is infidelity?
Not a week goes by without a celebrity cheating scandal being splashed across tabloid magazines at our local grocery stores. They’re gripping to read about, but what happens when it’s your relationship that’s embroiled in an affair?

On top of the utter devastation infidelity causes, there are feelings of hurt, confusion and betrayal to contend with. On top of that, there are also many heart-wrenching decisions to make about the future of your relationship -- from ending things to seeking counselling to taking a time out.

We asked Gilda Carle, relationship expert and author of Don’t Bet on the Prince: How to Have the Man You Want by Betting on Yourself, about the course of action you should take when your partner strays. She maintains that cheating may actually have a silver lining: “Cheating can sometimes be the best thing to happen to a shaky relationship because it means that a couple will finally be forced to decide either to mend their love -- or end their love.” Carle offers some more insight into how to handle a cheating partner and how to move forward in a way that works for you.

1. Why do people cheat?
People cheat for a variety of reasons -- it simply depends on the person and the couple. Some of the most common reasons a person becomes unfaithful are:

• They feel disconnected from their partner on an emotional and physical level.
• There’s little to no physical or emotional intimacy.
• They are angry with their spouse and don’t know how else to deal with it.
• Their sex life has become non-existent.
• They are bored.
• They are looking for positive attention that they don’t feel they’re getting from their spouse.

Regardless of the reason behind the infidelity, one thing is certain: Cheating means your relationship is in need of serious repair. No matter why someone strays, cheating has a big impact on a relationship. “Infidelity affects a relationship because the person you’re supposed to be giving your attention to is missing out on that intimacy,” Carle explains. “No relationship can survive without intimacy.”

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