Saturday, August 31, 2013

After Boy’s Suicide, Questions About Missed Signs

After Boy’s Suicide, Questions About Missed Signs


Gregg Vigliotti for The New York Times
Nearly every pew was filled at a funeral service for Bart Palosz, which was held at the Holy Name of Jesus Church in Stamford, Conn., on Friday.
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GREENWICH, Conn. — Boys picked on Bart Palosz almost from the moment his family moved to this affluent town seven years ago. They taunted him for his accent — he was born in Poland — pushed him into bushes or down stairs and smashed his new Droid cellphone, his sister said.

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Bart shot himself on Tuesday, one day after starting his sophomore year at Greenwich High School.
On Tuesday, after the first day of school, Bart killed himself with the family shotgun. He was 15, just beginning his sophomore year at Greenwich High School.
His death has left the community — which has 9,000 students in its school district — asking whether it did enough to address the bullying or to provide support for Bart, who had posted his suicidal thoughts, and details of a possible earlier attempt, on social media.
His sister, Beata Palosz, 18, said Bart loved computers and hoped to go to New York University to study technology. He was an active member of Boy Scout Troop 9.
But Ms. Palosz also described a pattern of bullying that escalated as her brother got older. In the past, she had tried to look out for him at school. This fall, she was starting her first year of college and he was alone: a tall, slightly overweight boy who did not fight back against his tormentors and who had assured his family that things had improved.
Ms. Palosz said the family had pleaded with school officials to intervene.
“We’re so upset right now with everything because we have been asking the school system for help,” she said. “Every time there is an incident, there is a meeting and nothing is done afterwards.” She cited four occasions when her parents met with school officials to discuss the bullying, but it continued.
“We asked for help over and over,” she said. “The school said they would do something but they never did.”
William S. McKersie, the superintendent of Greenwich’s public schools, said on Thursday that school officials were aware of the bullying Bart had endured, but declined to comment on specific incidents or school responses because the district was still reviewing its files.
But he said officials were unaware of Bart’s posts about suicide on social media. While they sometimes monitor students’ posts, they had missed these.
Another school district employee, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because she who was not authorized to speak publicly on the matter, said Bart had met with a guidance counselor 10 or 12 times in the last school year, but that he had told her things were fine.
Connecticut law requires schools to have a “safe-school climate specialist to investigate or supervise the investigation of all reports of bullying,” and to notify the police if the school “believes that any acts of bullying constitute criminal conduct.”
In recent decades, 49 states and the District of Columbia have passed anti-bullying laws — all but Montana. But studies of their effectiveness have produced mixed results, especially at the high school level.
The Greenwich Police Department did not return phone calls seeking comment.
At a funeral service for Bart at the Holy Name of Jesus Church in Stamford, Conn., on Friday, neighbors, classmates, fellow Boy Scouts and school officials mourned the young man. Football players arrived in uniform. Nearly every pew was filled, with people standing in the back.
A family friend, Brian Raabe, 47, gave a eulogy urging the community to take responsibility:
“His death can only have meaning if the bullying and indifference that led to his feelings of isolation and despair are confronted,” he said.
“The simple observation that kids can be cruel is not action,” he added, “it is an excuse, an inequitable pardon for those whose actions led to us being here today and an excuse for not teaching our children well.”
Experts caution that suicide is a complex act, committed for reasons known only to those who commit it.
Bart left a trail of suicidal musings on his Google Plus page. On June 7, he described an apparent attempt to kill himself. “Goodbye forever my good friends, goodbye, I regret nothing,” he wrote. “I have chosen to go with 3 peoples advice and kill myself. I just wish it was faster.” Later posts that night described drinking lighter fluid but only getting nauseated and passing out. “I am positive I will not try that method again,” he concluded.
On July 3, he posted a photograph of himself holding a knife to his eye and wrote, “Hey if I were to stab my eye out due to school caused insanity, who would miss me?”
But social media can be a world where posts are read by people in Arizona but not by those in the next room. Ms. Palosz said she was surprised to learn of her brother’s posts. When she talked to her brother on Monday, the day before he took his life, “he seemed fine.”
After the funeral, the family planned to take the body to Poland for burial.
Kristin Hussey reported from Greenwich, and John Leland from New York. Peter Applebome contributed reporting.

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