Suicide Survivor Stories

My Story

by Bethany Jennen

My story is hard to tell because I wasn’t really involved in his life the last couple of years he was alive. Andrew (Andy) was an amazing person. I met him when I was younger; he is my best friend’s older brother. He of course would pick on us and be mean, that is to be expected from older brothers, but there was always something special about him.
As years went on our families became really close and still are to this day. I fell in love with Andy and in turn he fell in love with me. Being young and in love for the first time was the best thing. He was the absolute sweetest boyfriend I had ever had. He would send flowers to my high school almost every month. A dozen red long stem roses, my friend were always jealous. He went with me to get my first and only tattoo of small butterfly on my ankle. That tattoo reminds me daily of him and it will always be my only one.
Andy and I moved in together my senior year and people may say we were too young, but it was what we both wanted. He would leave me notes on the table and cards’ calling me his princess.He was very much into music and writing poems, and really good at it. I still read the poems he left me. I remember coming home one day to find he had wrote a poem on the bathroom toilet paper. I laugh to this day wondering what would have made him do this. He was my date to my senior prom which of course is a big thing for a girl. He had no problems going being just a little bit older than everyone else. He looked so handsome that night. I could go on and tell so many stories of the sweet things he had done for me but it would take forever.
We had been friends since I was 10 and we had dated for over a year. He was the best first love anyone could have asked for. He holds the bar high these days for guys. Sadly we did break up and he and I went our own ways. His sister is still my best friend and his mom is my second mom. Though our families were close I didn't see or hear from him very much. He had moved on and met his wife. I am not sure of what went wrong from there but he ended his life in August of 2008. Receiving the phone call from his mom at work was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I burst into tears and scared my co-workers.  I had just received an email from him a few months before asking me to do a favor for him which I couldn't’t do. I couldn't’t believe this had happened. Why did this happen???
Andy was intelligent, funny, caring, artistic, and so much more. He would light up the room when he was around, and could make you smile. To lose your first love will always be a painful, but to have him gone forever is a pain that will never go away. I look back and find myself saying “well if I could have just done what he had asked me to he could still be here” or I sit and listen to our songs over and over, and read his letters and burst into tears. I have never had someone love me that much and it hurts every day. I know it still hurts his family. His sister tells me she cries every day.
There really is not a point to my story. I just wanted to share what he meant to me and the special things he had done for me.  I love you Andy and always will. I think about you all the time, and even find myself talking to you as if you were with me. I hope you are happy and looking over everyone that cares about you. You will never be forgotten.