Pain Hurts So Bad

Edited: 2/26/2013 10:41 AM by

Pain Hurts So Bad Hi. I'm here writing this because I feel like I need to end my life. I hate breathing sometimes, its hard to want to go on. Even though I have a good job that depends on me and my loving family that cares about me. I don't know what to do I have an eating disorder and I hate the way my body looks, I'm so fat and living an unhealthy lifestyle of constantly eating all time...sometimes I even throw it up. I've had self harm problems and I've attempted suicide way too many times to remember and I have thoughts about it a lot just recently now. I feel like this is my life and this is how it will be unless I end it. I'm afraid of being happy because each time I'm happy even for a little while something else happens and I'm right back here. Stuck! wanting to die and just never come back. But then the good things I have haunt me and are making me stay even though the pain I'm in hurts so bad. SO LOST AND CONFUSED. Please help!  ​

Edited: 2/26/2013 10:42 AM by

We really are glad that you decided to reach out and open up about what you have been feeling.  It sounds like you have been struggling quite a bit and we have to wonder what kind of support  you have had or have right now.  Does anyone know that you are feeling this badly?   Struggling with eating disorders and self harm can be very overwhelming and having support can help.  Suicide should never be an option and doesn't have to be your resolution when there is so much help out there.  Easting disorders can be treated along with the self harm.  If you haven't been diagnosed, we hope that you will talk with an adult about this.  Getting help means that there is support for you.  It also means that there is support for your family as well.  They love you and only want the best for you and they want you to feel better.  They may not know ho t fix it all and that is where a professional would come in. Don't try to go through this alone.   Our counselors are here 24/7.  You can call or write anytime.  Your suicidal thoughts are scary and we want to know that you can keep yourself safe.  We hope that you will reach out and talk with someone before you act on any thoughts of harming yourself.  You deserve the help.  You need the help. We are here for you anytime.  Just please be safe and talk with family or another adult that you can trust.    You took a big step today by reaching out.  We know it isn't easy and we are very proud of you.  Keep it up.  Allow yourself to smile and be happy.  It is a good thing. Please call or write us back to let us know of your safety plan.  We want to help.    Take care, Naina, counselor