Don't Want To Live Anymore

Edited: 2/26/2013 10:40 AM by

Don't Want To Live Anymore Today I felt like killing myself, but then I found this site. I guess I should tell you why I wanted to. It all started in grade 3 at my old school. These two girls would physically and mentally hurt me. They would kick me and swear at me - in grade 3. Finally by grade 5 I switched into my new school. It's an all girl school. At first I was excited and made two first in my first year there. Sadly by grade 6 they left leaving me with no one. Now I am in grade 9 and things got much worse. No one talks to, and if you do you are frowned upon. Trust me I am not lying. At a party someone told me they were talking about me. I went to a Justin Bieber concert with a semi friend and we did have a good time. But at the party people found out she was with me and they all got mad at her for it. Now she doesn't really talk to me in front of other people, only when we are alone. There is more going on at school and I really hate it there. I really want to switch schools but my dad won't let me. Aside from all that today my dad got really mad at me. I lost a sport game- he was not mad about that but I was grumpy from loosing. Apparently I was talking in the wrong tone and he just snapped. I have never seen him so mad a me in over 5 years. I was just in my room crying, wanting to die. He was the only close person I have in m life, and seeing him very mad at me gives me no hope. In 20 minutes I have a basketball game at school. but he is not going to drive me. He is super mad at me and I can't even talk to him. I will not talk to him no matter what. So this is why I'm sad and really don't want to live anymore. What do you think I should do. Is there a way I can quickly kill myself at home. I just hate my life. No one would even care if I died- at least at school and stuff. I just want my dad to feel like he treated me wrong. And feel bad about how me mad me feel. Since I can't talk to him I must kill myself. This is the only way to get my point through to him. plz help, how can I kill myself quickly? ​

Edited: 2/26/2013 10:40 AM by

Thank you for reaching out today. I am so glad that you did. It sounds like you are in a great deal of pain and it's hard to see a way out right now.    Please know that nothing is worth ending your life over. It sounds like things are pretty tense at school and home, but things can change.  It is concerning that you are having these issues at school. If you haven't already, please report this to your school counselor.  No one deserves to be treated that way or excluded.  Your school needs to be aware of the way you are being treated.  In the meantime, try to connect with at least one person at school or outside of school. You need support, whether it's a school counselor, a teacher, an aunt or uncle, or a friend.   Parents can sometimes overreact. Your dad may have been stressed about something else, or maybe there is something else to explain why he got so upset.  He probably feels bad about it and hopefully you two will be able to discuss it at some point.  Sometimes, it can even help to apologize, even if you don't feel like you did anything wrong.  Your dad loves you.     It is very concerning that you are having thoughts of suicide.  You have so much life left to live. Sooner than you realize, you will be on your own at college or at a job. You won't feel the cliques or the pressure that you do in high school.  Also, you need to know that your life is precious. Your life has purpose, even if you haven't discovered what that purpose is.  Please reach out to an adult about this. You don't have to try to go through this alone. Please also make a promise to yourself that you won't do anything to try to end your life and you will call us or talk to your parents if you cannot stay safe.  Help is always just a phone call away.     Please keep reaching out; call or email us soon.  We are here for you!   Chelsey, Crisis Counselor                     ​