Whp Self Harms

Who self-harms?

Everyone and anyone – it doesn’t matter where someone is from, what their social or cultural background might be, or how well they perform at school. You are not more likely to have a problem with self-harm if you come from a more deprived part of town compared with more affluent areas. It doesn’t matter if your parents are together or divorced, if you come from a single parent family or if they are employed or not. Young people growing up in care are not more or less likely to self-harm than teenagers who live with their families... it really can, and does, happen to anyone. It is thought that girls from a south asian background may be slightly more likely to self-harm, but given not everyone comes forward and asks for help, it's really hard to know for sure.
Self-harm is a difficulty that is found in young people from all walks of life. The important fact to remember is that you will not be alone in this – you will not be the only harmer and you will not be the only person with a friend, brother, sister, child or pupil who self-harms. There may be lots of people in the same situation as you, so don’t feel alone.

What makes people start harming?

The thing that triggers someone to self-harm for the first time will be different for everyone. It could be in reaction to an argument, or a situation that has left someone feeling rejected, humiliated, depressed or angry. Equally there will be many more young people who experience the same emotions and do not hurt themselves – harming is a method of coping with difficult emotions. Self-harming is usually an outward demonstration of an inner turmoil, trauma or crisis.

One teenager may cope with a bad grade at school by watching television and forgetting about it, another may play computer games, listen to music or study harder whereas others may hurt themselves. Some people injure themselves because friends are also doing it and it may be thought of as ‘cool’, or a sign of someone’s commitment to a gang. It will be individual and unique to everyone who experiences it.

Approximately half of all teenagers who harm themselves once will never do it again. This could be for a number of reasons – some may have done it merely to ‘see what it’s like’, others may have found it didn’t satisfy the emotions they thought it might while others may have genuinely frightened themselves out of trying it again.

Why people self-harm

People harm themselves for all sorts of reasons. The need to self-harm usually comes from emotions that are difficult for the individual to manage. The emotions could be related to any number of things. It could be a way of coping with anger – young people may find violence against themselves helps manage angry and aggressive emotions towards other people.

Low levels of self-worth can prompt some into self-harming while others use it as a way of feeling in control of the world around them. Eating disorders can often be found in those who experience these emotions, but any sense of control is quickly lost when the harming behaviour takes over and the person is unable to stop. People who self-harm over a long period of time may have become addicted to their condition. These people definitely need medical and psychological help and support.

Unmanageable emotions can often lead some into feeling numb or like a ‘zombie’ and acts of self-harm can be thought to help with breaking through these emotions and feeling part of the world again. Others may use harming as a way of escaping from their world – difficult situations at home or school can be blanked out through the experience of pain, transporting the young person to a different place away from their reality.

Of course this isn’t ever going to be a complete list - you may be reading this and not identifying with it at all - that's okay, it just goes to show that self-harm affects everyone in a different way, and it doesn't resolve any difficult emotions in either the short or long term. It is only through talking about and understanding of the emotions involved, that the need to self-harm can be reduced and eventually taken away.

Why people continue to self-harm after others have found out

Self-harm doesn’t automatically stop when you confront or acknowledge it. Seeing friends and relatives upset at finding out can make it even harder for the person harming and the guilt can push them to harm even more as a way of coping with other people’s emotions. The fear of further being found out can push the self-harming underground, making it even more secretive and therefore difficult to treat or offer help and support. This highlights the need for disclosures to be handled sensitively. Just telling someone to stop won’t work.

Some people find the process of self-harm to be very addictive. The act of harming causes the body to produce endorphins, which can produce an adrenaline type rush. The rush lessens as time goes on so the acts of self-harm get bigger and more damaging in order to achieve the same result. It’s the same response people have to drug taking – more is needed to get the same ‘hit’. It's a very dangerous cycle to fall into.

Some people don’t find harming addictive in a physical sense but may become dependant on it emotionally. Harming may hold back unwanted feelings and so self-harming may become a habit and part of a daily routine to reduce the risk of those feelings popping up in the first place – prevention rather than cure. Giving up harming means these feelings may surface, and that can be a frightening thought. This is why it is important for the self-harmer to be able to talk with a professionally qualified person who they can trust about their problem.

Why self-harmers can group together

Youth culture promotes the idea of inclusion and belonging, placing pressure on young people to conform to certain ideals and beliefs concerning what they wear, the music they listen to and how they behave. There have been cases of schools reporting groups of young people engaging in acts of self-harm collectively, whether it has taken the form of actual injury or episodes of extreme starvation. There is a group mentality at work in these cases, held together by one or two individuals who influence others to join. The people at the heart of these ‘groups’ may not have a problem themselves, other than a desire to be perceived as rebellious in some way.

The danger of these groups is that they can attract vulnerable teenagers who may go on to develop severe problems with self-harm. Groups such as these normally fall apart after relatively short periods of time when leading members move on to something ‘new’. This is when the more disadvantaged or needy teenager may suddenly be left alone with a genuine difficulty with no ‘support network’ to help and depend on.

Schools who experience such a phenomenon would be advised to work with the young people as individuals rather than as a whole group, which would only serve to reinforce the group ideals. This also highlights the importance of self-help groups that need to be closely monitored to ensure the focus is on support and recovery rather than being pro-self-harm.