Dear Lost Sarah

Dear Lost Sarah S.,

Posted by Sarah Jakes on Feb 20, 2014

This letter eerily resonated with me. Not only because we share the same name, but it appears we shared many of the same doubts about ourselves. At such a pivotal moment in my own journey this letter has reminded me that God does “exceedingly, abundantly above all that we may ask or think.” I focused so long on who I didn’t think I could become that I limited what God could do in my life. Now I’m less than two months away from releasing my memoir, Lost & Found. Revealing my shame released me from it. I learned the beauty in all things working together for my good. Like Sarah S., I’m grateful to know that freedom in Christ exists for us all!
Dear Sarah S.,
Your trials and rejection are making you question your worth. Sometimes, even God seems to be rejecting you by His silence. You are convinced that it’s your fault they don’t like you, that it’s your inferiority that doesn’t cause Him to notice you. You’ve never fit in. You always thought you were too ugly, too clumsy, too stupid, too boring. Then when you started church, they didn’t accept you because you’re not as anointed as they are, your mind tells you.
But what does your heart tell you? Didn’t your heart tell you as a child that you were destined for greatness? Didn’t your eyes see a vision of you shining even in the midst of them dulling your vessel? You have learnt to be your own best friend, but yet sometimes the unanswered questions tear at you with its teeth of torment and loneliness, and no wondering or guessing is enough to feed its ravenous appetite.
 You are starting to get scared that your dreams will never come true. Time is going and you are waiting, but yet the vision is not seen. You see theirs coming true and it hurts you sometimes to the point of envy. It hurts worse because they don’t even like you. You never thought you’d be here, on the other side of success. This is not how you pictured it. You were going to take the world by storm, but some years after and there is not much to show for your life.
You are looking for acceptance and love. You want someone to tell you how great and special you are, but no one comes. They all pass you and go on to the next person. And again, you feel like you are no better than the dust of the ground. 
But yet! Oh yet! There is a voice whispering in you, don’t give up . . . you’re mistaken, I will surprise you. Yes, He is speaking to you! He calls you “Beloved” because you Belong to Him. He shut up your dreams like He shut up Hannah’s womb and you are grieved. But don’t you know that what you are carrying is greater than anything you’ve seen and that’s why it can’t be released prematurely? Don’t you know that He trusts you not to give up which is why He kept silent for so long? Can’t you look now and see your own strength?! Can’t you realize that you are capable of being relied on to not walk away from His plan? Can’t you realize that your dreams are His desires for you?!
Sarah, your time is come! Lift up your head, silence your doubts, raise your hands in faith and receive the greatness that He has for you. His love will become your love and His faith, your faith. The rejected will become the celebrated, the last will be ushered into the first. How can you fit in when your greatness is so much greater than any space they can allot to you? How can you be accepted when they don’t understand what He placed in you because He’s never placed it in anyone else before? Don’t you know that your brokenness is not just for you, but for them? They need you! You are now qualified to heal the broken because He will heal you. You are now equipped to handle and understand their pain. Your brokenness is His pipeline to pour in the anointing, which will pour out the healing balm that He has entrusted you with for others. And as for those who rejected you, they will see His Glory soaking and dripping off you! That’s right, cry, let the tears flow as they are releasing your pain, your past, your hurt, your rejection, your delay, your denial, your lovelessness, your every shackle and every chain. Be set free, BELOVED! 
Signed,
Broken For The Fragance which Pours Out
http://sarahsarjuprasad.com