Edited by Ben Rubenstein, Nicole Willson, Tom Viren, Versageek and 92 others
Steps
1
Deal with the immediate impulse if it helps. "The
whole system that we live in drills into us that we're powerless that
we're weak that our society is evil etc. and so forth. It's all a big
fat lie, we are powerful, beautiful and extraordinary. There is no
reason why we cannot understand who we truly are, where we are going,
there is no reason why the average individual cannot be fully empowered,
we are incredibly powerful beings." - Professor Richard Alpert.
2
Get a job you enjoy
doing, getting a job that implements something you're interested in can
be a big motivator to not kick the bucket prematurely. Granted, this
can be very difficult when depressed, but making even small changes to
improve your life can help pull out of a more self-destructive mindset.
- Beware of making your happiness dependent on your job, other people, or other peoples perception of you.
3
Don't entertain these thoughts to make someone else feel guilty.
You may have these thoughts because someone hurt you recently, and you
want that person to feel guilty. It won't work; think it through. You
won't be around to see how that person grieves or acts after you're
dead. It might be a long time before they even find out about you. And
even if they got terribly upset on discovering you did away with
yourself, you would not be there to see that reaction. Killing yourself
isn't the way to get love & attention from others. If they really
can't stand you, they're not going to feel guilty anyway and may just be
relieved you're not around, so don't give your enemies that relief.
They'll be the ones getting all the attention and support, no matter
what they did to you to push you to that point.
4
Realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Procrastination
can help. Live life day-to-day and give it a chance to improve. Tell
yourself that you can, at the very least, get through this day, all the
way till bedtime. Once you've made it that far, tell yourself that you
will sleep on it before deciding to take any action. Take one day at a
time, or if you feel that's too hard, take it one hour at a time. Remember that things will often get worse before they get better.
5
Put away the implements if you have chosen a method for your demise.
Put those items somewhere out of your immediate reach, somewhere that
you have to make an extra effort to go get them. When you are hurting,
impulses are strong - having to go out of your way to take action on
those impulses will give you time to think and resist them. Example: If
you plan to take pills, put them up on a high shelf, in a place you
wouldn't ordinarily look for them - highest shelf of your closet, rather
than in the bathroom, or in the kitchen, in the highest cupboard. If
you've chosen a gun--if you really don't need it and the temptation to
use it is strong--consider selling it. Otherwise, put it in your gun
safe, locked. If possible, don't keep the key in your home; leave it, at
least temporarily, with someone you trust. If you feel that you can't
be open about the real reason you are leaving the key with them, make an
excuse--you have children/an elderly parent in the house or you are
afraid that an intruder may find it and open the safe etc. You can talk
to yourself a little here, and tell yourself that if you really want to
go through with it, you can make the necessary effort to retrieve your
pills/gun etc.
6
Look for the things that are good in life.
Start with the littlest things; perhaps a pet, a sunrise or sunset,
something you find comfort in doing or seeing. Grab onto this thing and
cherish it. Make a list. It doesn't matter how trivial these things are
or what anyone else thinks of them, it's whatever you're actually
looking forward to that matters for any reason. One man survived a bad
suicidal episode just because he didn't want to miss a favorite TV show
that aired two days later.
7
Find someone to confide in.
A friend, a parent, a counsellor or teacher. Ask for help and allow
yourself to receive the help offered. You may not wish to confide your
desperate feelings to just anyone, but if you have just one person you
can tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, it might
really help you feel less alone.
8
Remember to eat regularly, and stick with healthy food.
Avoid sugar, which can contribute to mood swings. If you go too long
without eating, you will get low blood sugar which worsens depression.
Fruit can help elevate your mood, because it has phytochemicals in it
which are shown to do so. Try eating an apple or an orange - if nothing
else, it will occupy you in a harmless activity for a few minutes.
9
Engage in some exercise, such as jogging or calisthenics.
Exercise increases the dopamine levels in the brain, and is also a very
good way to take your attention off of emotional pain by a healthy dose
of some constructive physical pain. Start off gradually if necessary.
If all can manage is a five minute walk, that is an excellent start!
10
Find a cause and fight or contribute to it. Not money - anybody can give money to a charitable cause. Give your time. Help the needy and less fortunate.
- Go to a local church and volunteer to help in their "feed the
hungry" program - many churches do provide free meals to the homeless
and less fortunate. You can help by offering to serve, to clean up
after, or to help prep for the dinners.
- Be careful, though, to not do anything illogical or irrational, just
because you need to cling on to something. As in, if you don't believe
in a cults practices, or aren't religious, don't turn to either just
because you need "something". Please keep your head.
- Go to a local food bank and offer to help.
- Go to a battered women or children's center and volunteer.
- There are many people who need your help - you just have to
go out and give it. And in the process, it's very likely that you will
find yourself feeling much better. Helping others is one of the very
best ways to cope with thoughts of harming yourself, because it creates a
very big feeling of warmth and generosity in your heart - it will be a
welcome change after feeling empty and cold for such a long time. And
feeling necessary can really help your outlook long term, too. There was a song that said, Give
- when you have anything at all to give... you have everything to live
for... give all you've got, and when you've given all you can... give
again... give again... give again... The truth is, the more you
give, the more you are filled with compassion, and the easier it is to
give again. And all that good feeling is also yours to keep, because in
an odd paradox, the more you give, the better you will feel.
11
Do not take any medication that hasn't been prescribed for you by a medical practitioner.
Also do not drink alcohol. Alcohol is, itself, a depressant. Whatever
resolve you have to stay on top of things will be loosened by drinking.
If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol see a doctor immediately.
12
Look up a website that gives advice on coping with suicidal thoughts and contribute your own ideas.
Stretching your brain to think creatively about specific ways to help
other people will, no doubt, be helpful for you. After all, it was your
own idea! Be encouraged by every effort you make to improve your
situation and your state of mind. Congratulate yourself for caring
enough about yourself to make the effort because when you are feeling
really low, it is an effort. Be assured that it is an effort well worth
making.
13
Speak kindly to yourself with comforting words of validation and affirmation.
When the waves of temptation come, soothe yourself by saying something
like, "Given my situation and my state of mind, it's perfectly
understandable to be feeling this way. It's OK. But whatever I may be
feeling, I know, deep in my heart, that I will not ever act upon it.
It's not the answer. I know that the answer is to keep on riding out the
waves of temptation and to keep on reaching out for help. I know that
I'll gradually feel better as time passes. I can do it."
14
If all the positive, happy, generous impulses and feelings are worn away, other dark emotions can help fight your despair.
Anger is better than despair. Living in spite for a while is still
living long enough for the pain to ease and you can remember that there
are things in life you enjoy and people you care about more positively.
Don't let the people who hurt you that deep win and succeed in getting
rid of you completely. If you stick around, they still have to face your
existence every day and know you stood up to them. This is if someone
is hounding you or abusing you. Hold out long enough and you can find
better ways to deal with that abuser, find ways to walk away and get out
of the situation alive.
15
Become curious about what the future might hold for you.
Ask yourself helpful questions like: "What will I be doing this time
next year?" "If I take up tennis again, I wonder how many new friends I
will make?" "If I get a job, how will I spend the money I'll earn?"
16
Write down your feelings on a piece of paper or something else.
Yeah, it sounds stupid to do it, but it will help. Put as much emotion
into it let yourself go and write down all that you feel. It's a good
way to relieve yourself and get away from suicidal thoughts you may be
having. Just try it out it might actually help.
- No matter how hopeless you feel, you can feel better. Feeling
suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn't mean that you are
crazy, or weak, or flawed.
- Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of
weakness. It means that you value yourself enough to find a solution.
- Talk to your therapist/counselor about your problems. It really helps.
- Take meditation and yoga to heal your inner scars! Breathing deep helps a lot.
- Write a very detailed, honest suicide letter with a goodbye to
everyone you'll be leaving behind... and an honest "explanation", then
read it back to yourself the next day.
- See a counselor or psychologist. Find one you really like, and allow them to teach you how to cope with your feelings and with life.
Edit Warnings
- Avoid people that will bring you down further. You know that they're
trouble, but you may think that you can't do any better and that they
are the only type of people you can make friends with. You can do better
-- find people who motivate you!
- Also avoid self absorbed passive-aggressive people who would rather
use guilt to manipulate you into staying alive for them, when you are
(probably) in misery. Staying with these people will most likely make
the perceived problem "worse".
- If you are suicidal, call someone! It is an emergency and you should treat it as such. Call 1-800-SUICIDE
or look up another suicide hot line, even 911 they will help you calm
down and give you the assistance you need. You can make that one call,
it could be the most important call of your life.
- Seek help from whoever you feel comfortable talking with.
- Talk to a friend before doing anything suicidal. Make sure that the
friend is someone you know is going to accept you for who you are and
won't try and manipulate you into not doing it for there own sake. Your
body, your life. If you want to end it, make sure you know that it's
what you want. Just so you know, it's a permanent solution to a
temporary problem.
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