Today I visited my girls grave.
January 9th, 2014 by DutchTimes.
Today I went to my girl’s grave. There was also this old man, I
had seen him when I walked onto the cemetery and somehow he apparently
felt the need to walk over where I was standing. I saw him looking at
the dates and heard him say that he was sorry. Sorry for what? You know what happened to her? Were you one of the truck drivers? I guess he only mend it supportive.
I whipped away all the leaves and added some new flowers so it ones again is something beautiful to look at. After this I stood up and looking down at the grave I felt a light burning sensation on a fingertip. I had a little cut on my right ring finger. Is this a sign?
Coming home I sat down for three hours at the table in the living room staring out of a window. Nobody wants to die. It’s not an irrational decision I’m about to make. I took a piece of paper and a pen, wanted to write my letter but couldn’t put down any words.
Out of every 10 thoughts I’m having, 9 are related to killing myself and 1 about staying here, following the human instinct to keep on fighting. Instead of writing my letter I wrote down every reason I wanted to go and every reason I should stay. The balance leant over to staying with 34 reasons against 18 reasons why I should go. Nearly double the amount. But the 18 reasons weigh heavier than those 34 reasons to stay.
Not so long ago, I only don’t know who wrote it here on Sp, I read this following comment. “Jesus chose to die so why can’t we?” Indeed, he chose to die for his people. And this is my decisive reason. He chose to die for his people, I choose to die for my girl.
I whipped away all the leaves and added some new flowers so it ones again is something beautiful to look at. After this I stood up and looking down at the grave I felt a light burning sensation on a fingertip. I had a little cut on my right ring finger. Is this a sign?
Coming home I sat down for three hours at the table in the living room staring out of a window. Nobody wants to die. It’s not an irrational decision I’m about to make. I took a piece of paper and a pen, wanted to write my letter but couldn’t put down any words.
Out of every 10 thoughts I’m having, 9 are related to killing myself and 1 about staying here, following the human instinct to keep on fighting. Instead of writing my letter I wrote down every reason I wanted to go and every reason I should stay. The balance leant over to staying with 34 reasons against 18 reasons why I should go. Nearly double the amount. But the 18 reasons weigh heavier than those 34 reasons to stay.
Not so long ago, I only don’t know who wrote it here on Sp, I read this following comment. “Jesus chose to die so why can’t we?” Indeed, he chose to die for his people. And this is my decisive reason. He chose to die for his people, I choose to die for my girl.
I do believe you got Jesus confused with your own thoughts and feelings….
Jesus came to die for our sins, Man as God with a purpose to come for that.
You are not God, never will be, and you aren’t dying for anyones sins, thats for sure.
Bedankt!
@Wifeisgone
I know this may not be the right or perfect comparison. I’m just to tired to keep trying, keep fighting and an holding on. Read my first post on here, it explains my pain.
It’s entirely possible that “God” exists, but is entirely evil. How would anyone know? Lots of people claim to “know” things, just because a book exists that claims itself as Truth.
“I am the way and the light.”
How do you know?
Perhaps, like many would suggest for my own situation: “God” has chosen to deliver the truth to you, in the least believable format, to test your faith.
You wouldn’t want to believe the second coming of christ was actually ME, an incredibly unlucky, miserable, unfortunate Atheist… but that is the same level of absurdity that all “believers” expect me to accept, and just believe, despite the sheer absurdity inherent in such notions.
For me to say that i believe i am the second coming, is just as absurd and upsetting to you, as your claims that god exists (and knowing i’m NOT the second coming), are completely absurd and upsetting, to me.
Many MANY people die “for” the “sins” of other people… but you have to understand the context of that “for,” and that it actually means “due to” or “because of.”
People die “due to” and “because of” other people’s heinous acts and inconsiderate transgressions, constantly. Probably 20+ people died while i was writing this comment. Most of them likely due to, because of (if indirectly), choices and actions of other people.
We all die “for” each other’s sins; Jesus “dying for our sins” didn’t correct the issue at all. People still suffer and die because of other people, and people still insist that “bad people” will burn for eternity in hell, due to their own sins.
It seems like nothing changed.
That is where I stopped reading.
The point: “how do you know?”
You believe what your senses perceive is objective reality because of the exactly same reason.
its simple.,,,, either you are a child of God or one of satan.
there is no middle ground. and that goes for everyone. even me.
.
Oh, you mean… kinda like how it gets old for me to hear about your imaginary friend “god,” constantly?
What was that thing Jesus said about casting stones?
It’s similar to that thing about glass houses…
Wat doe en/of probeer jij dan om elke dag door het leven te komen met deze gedachten?
“God doesn’t contradict with any scientific or logical evidence you could bring forward.”
Change that to “God doesn’t contradict with anything you could say that i will allow myself to accept as valid.”
For me, it’s more like: “Everything that can be defined as valid, both shows and contradicts continued belief in what is not evidenced.”
If i allow your opinion that belief in god legitimately makes sense, then you should allow my opinion that you have misinterpreted reality. And i can totally understand why many people are inclined to do exactly that. I wish i could change it for all of you, but that’s a choice you have to make on your own… or not at all.
Of course I do. It is about accepting that the possibility of what I believe in exists. How probable it is is a subject of everyone’s own judgement.
The last paragraph you wrote could be my words.
@WIG: “trash that most often gets passed around these days in “churches”.
The trash that the pope is talking about? Cant imagine that.
I think we are technically capable of refraining from discussing theism… but i think some people feel the need to interject their religious beliefs, every time anyone mentions any of the characters from the bible (like you did in your OP).
And i would have to agree, if you were to suggest that “this type of thing” is one of the reasons you’re not so sure about continuing to live in this world. It bothers me too; which is why i feel like i have to say something, when people go around insisting god exists, and is this or that, and isn’t this or that, and blah blah blah.
I honestly think no one has the slightest clue what “God” is, or isn’t. It’s just an idea that people’s imaginations tend to run away with, quite often and easily.
Like Rogue said, in his comment to sunnygirl: “…it’ll die if people stop thinking about it.”
It’s hard to not think about it, when everyone’s always bringing it up. I keep hoping that if i point out why it’s absurd, people will realize, and stop thinking about it, and stop bringing it up. But that doesn’t seem like it’s working.
You mean NON-religious beliefs.
No, actually; the OP clearly requested we NOT have this “stupid discussion about God.”
The God people are the ones who want to tell everyone that “God is the answer.”
Atheists like myself, want to find real answers, not waste our lives talking about imaginary characters. The fact that so many people insist on bringing “God” into every discussion, which then requires the efforts of people like me, to show why that’s both irrelevant and detracts from the point of discussion, and also assaults any readers with having to sort through “that stupid discussion about god,” is the problem. It bothers me. Why can’t we just assume we’re all alone in the universe, and attempt to solve our own problems, rather than “praying to god” that some magic will fix things for us, so that we won’t have to come up with our own solutions?
Let’s take some responsibility for our situations and try to solve problems with real solutions. Even if god does exist, he’s obviously absent in nearly all cases where people seem to need solutions they don’t have. So let’s solve problems, rather than debating endlessly about whether or not 3-5 billion people’s varied definitions of their imaginary super-friend, actually exists, or will ever help anyone solve a problem.