Thursday, January 9, 2014

Suicide Stories and Replies

Why can’t life be simpler?

January 9th, 2014 by genesis0987
It has been 6 years that I had suffered from depression for. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my school/college work, and I always was like this. But for the past year and a half or so, I don’t do anything; Most of the time I don’t even try to do it because straight away I feel like it’s going to turn out really bad. And if somehow I do end up doing some work, I don’t feel like it is worth submitting, so I don’t hand it in. My negativity demotivates me, my exams are coming soon and I can’t force myself to revise for any of them. You might just think I’m lazy, but the point is that I don’t feel like I’m good at anything. At the start of college I was doing well, but something happened and it was down the hill from there.. I don’t enjoy my subjects either (I struggle the most with A2 Philosophy). I don’t even know whether I want to get into uni.. I don’t know what to do with myself.. The fact that I only have 2 friends doesn’t make me feel any better. People just don’t seem to like me. I just feel so utterly useless.. I have thought of suicide multiple times and I know how I want to die, the only reason why I’m still here is because I can’t access my method for now and I don’t want to die in any other way. So since I have no other choice but to be here, I don’t want to feel this horrible anymore. I want to feel determined to do something and actually DO it. If any of you have any advice, I would appreciate it very much.
g0987

4 Responses to “Why can’t life be simpler?”

Most recent comments shown, ordered chronologically on the page.
  1. I don’t believe too much in online concealing, but here is my opinion, take it or leave it of course. Give yourself a break, perfectionist? Ok fine but realise perfection is an illusion, you will never achieve it. Amount of friends? I have about 700 of them on facebook but none of them will actually miss me when I’m gone I think so given you have at least one or two friends makes you special in my eyes. I think self criticism is great when it improves your sense of knowledge or skills but it’s negative when you start seeing it as a way to degrade yourself. Suicide is the ultimate act, there is no way of returning from that. Having suicidal ideas is more common and I think you will find many people in here that share those unfortunately :(
  2. I know life is hard as anything and I don’t want to give you motivational bullshit. But try to stick it out, at least till you have access. Maybe you’ll have a reason to live by then.
  3. But it’s hard.. I have been “sticking it out” for good 3 years now and I just lost all hope.. I don’t see how things could possibly change for me.. What hurts the most, is knowing that I am the primary cause of my problems. I just hate being inside my own brain..
  4. you made a good point about perfection being an illusion. but i can’t help the way my brain works.. god, why can’t life be simple.. I wish i could just appreciate nature and listen to radiohead all day.. i hate the life i lead now, it wasnt my choice.. my parents basically forced me to go to college, and now I’m stuck.. I just want to escape my life..


    Make it stop

    January 9th, 2014 by Sunnygirl1
    Please make it stop,
    It won’t end. It really won’t end, and I don’t think I can keep going.
    How am I supposed to fight this battle empty-handed?


    4 Responses to “Make it stop”

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    1. Find weapons. Figure a way to fight back. Use fun against it. Use light to burn it down. Or just ignore it. Just like religion it will die if no one thinks about it. Find something you enjoy or do something worthwhile that either makes you feel like a better person (charity work) or something that keeps your mind busy (sports exercise, cooking, reading)
    2. “Find weapons.”
      Nice. I literally thought exactly the same thing, and then saw your comment already said it.
      You have to adapt and improvise. Be “Jackie Chan.” In his films, his characters always just grab whatever is close, and use it to either defend or attack, or even to escape. Of course, it helps that he’s a highly trained and accomplished acrobat and martial artist, but still.
      And if you can’t find a weapon, use your body and your surroundings. The human body can be a powerful weapon, even empty handed… and not in just physical combat situations.
      Find something you like thinking about more than what you’re trying to not to think about. Find many things. If one isn’t enough, find a series of things to switch between. Choose your thoughts, as much as possible. When something feels like it’s involuntarily overwhelming your mind, take a deep breath and “think about anything else.” But it helps if it’s something you actually want to think about.
    3. You don’t have to.
      Man lives not on bread alone. Try reading a small bit of the bible everyday.
      Give it a few days and see if you don’t feel better.
      Its hard to have strength when you are so HUNGRY, so spiritually THIRSTY.
    4. The bible(s) (and thus, religion) is all about doing exactly what i described: finding anything to think about, to help you not think about what you’d rather not think about.
      It’s all about tricking your mind. Maybe you should look into it, it might actually help you, for that reason.

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