Helping Friends in Trouble: Stress, Depression, and Suicide

Joyce Walker, Youth Development

We all have bad days, or weeks, or even months. We all feel overwhelmed at times. Things usually get better. Sometimes that's hard to remember when you're down. But stress, depression, and even suicide happen in the lives of people young and old.
Problems get people down. We feel tense, fearful, or angry because things are changing—they seem out of control. It's hard to manage. More than 2,000 Minnesota junior and senior high school students were asked how they handle serious problems in their lives. Can you guess what they said? They either try to handle the problem themselves or talk to their friends. It's important to think about how to help yourself as well as a friend who comes to you.

How People React To Stress & Problems

Failure on a test, a fight with a friend, an argument with a parent, or a put-down by a teacher can be upsetting. Many things that cause problems are beyond our control: parents divorcing, a family moving away, the death of someone close to us, or family financial problems. We all know someone who has broken up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, feared pregnancy, gotten in trouble with the law, or felt utterly deserted and alone.

There are three basic ways of reacting to the problem:

1. You can get angry - scream, shout, throw things, start a fight, or go on a rampage.
2. You can withdraw - take a drink, shut up in a room, take a pill, daydream, stop talking to everyone.
3. You can take charge - think out the problem, try to find a solution, ask for help, or work for change.