The Suicide Project

Heart Break

January 7th, 2014 by Anton Hi,
My name is Anton and i’m 13 years old. I live in Sweden and i’m here because i don’t feel like living anymore.. My girlfriend broke up with me not long ago and shes just a person that i’m never going to be able to forget. I cry myself to sleep every night and thinking should my life ene here or is there still hope..school isn’t going good for me.. I cry all night. I fall asleep around 04:30 AM and wake up 06:00 AM. I would sacrefise myself for her.. I wrote two songs and i would do anything for her.. Both of us had sex for the first time with echother. And now she types with a 15 year old guy who smokes and drinks.. She’s just the sweetest soul on Earth and i really don’t want her to get into that mess.. And now i guess everyone who reads this is thinking that i will find someone else.. But i’m afraid of love.. The pain she caused me is nothing you can describe. I cut myself sometimes.. It makes me feel good.. Screaming and thinking of something Else than her.. But i know it’s over.. I really need some help from someone befor i commit suicide.. Thank you for reading..

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1. sbkstep43 8:18 pm on January 7th, 2014
   Awe sweety you are only 13 you have your whole life ahead of you you will find someone else and hey the smartest people known to man never passed school and they make it far so you just need to believe in yourself a bit more
   

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2. clockstrikes0 8:26 pm on January 7th, 2014
   I felt that way after my first break up, too. Honestly, honestly though: the ONLY cure in this context is time. You will feel heartbroken for a while, but the longest I felt heartbroken after this breakup of my own was 2 months. Which is nothing next to a lifetime of chronic depression.
   

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I’m Not Sure…

January 7th, 2014 by PessimisticWallflower

What I ought to do; I’ve been getting more serious about attempting suicide as each day passes. I know I ought to tell somebody, but I’m not sure who that somebody should be… It’s too hard for me to tell my mother, I don’t want to tell my therapist or psychiatrist… I feel as though I ought to tell a teacher I trust; that’s what I did back in November. Do you believe it’s the best thing that I tell somebody as soon as possible? I’m such a mess at the moment; I really need to keep in the tears until later…

Take my hand and drag me with you

January 7th, 2014 by Agony I started to write this to my, I can say, best and only friend but then I started typing a lot and don’t want to bother him with this. Maybe he will read it here, maybe he won’t.
I want you to be here, talking to me, but since I never say anything that would be pointless. I guess I’m not doing well again lately, if I already was doing okay. I don’t know what I feel or if I feel at all. I don’t want to go to bed, all I will be thinking is ”make the bad thoughts go away”. I would imagine it saying that to a person who isn’t here. That one person who is always there for me, who takes care of me and loves me. The one who holds me and took me in his house, in his life, in his arms and holds me thight. But that person doesn’t exist in my life, that life isn’t real. He doesn’t hold me, he isn’t my parent. No one is, no one ever will. No one will save me and I can’t save myself. I can hug my pillow, he can’t hold my hand. He isn’t here to comfort me when I close my pc and am alone in the dark. He isn’t here to drag me out of bed and to get me through the day when I wake up once again.
It hurts me to go to bed, it tears me apart to wake up.

Final final night?

January 7th, 2014 by spoonman How can a mind be so full and feel so empty? I am at a loss. I sit here before the internet, which banks a great wealth of humanity’s knowledge. I have a notebook full of notes and deductions and musings on this, both of my own and other trusted authorities and sources. I have read notes of the successful. I have watched videos. Seen documentaries. Read posts on here. Studied any sort of research on the subject I can find. Yet I am still left with one unanswered question: how does one logic himself to death?
I know that reason is the key to conquering life. Surely it is the same key to open the door to death. Or is death a door closing. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe I do not need a key. Just a stern, unwavering hand. A reason to slam the door shut on life. Perhaps I need a final argument. A great enraging incident to storm out. An angering face to slam the door into….
Pretty words and metaphors. Those I have plenty of. What I do not have is an answer is to why I am still here. I do not wish to be. I have not wished to be for some time. I have no more items on my “to do” list. My bucket list found its way info the trash bucket quite a while ago. Lists. I have made many. I have page after page of reasons. I have diagrams. I have pictures. I have the same sayings in similes and metaphors. I have lists in French and German. All pro lists. No cons. I can think of not one negative aspect to my death that causes me any pause. So why do I? With no cons, why must I struggle so to con myself into doing what I know I must?
I am here not for attention but out of desperation. I am truly at a lose. I have read posts. I have tried to find the elusive solution to take the plunge. I have not found it. And I doubt any of you all will have words that will help. So I am at a lose as to why I am even typing this.
“Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,And thus the Native hue of ResolutionIs sicklied o’er, with the pale cast of Thought” Indeed