Monday, March 3, 2014

Suicide Attempt Survivors Stories 3

I wanted to tell my story…
It has been years now, and that time seems far away. Something like watching a movie about a girls life that isn’t my own. I had it rough as a young girl. I was thirteen and my family was a mess I tried to kill myself after I was raped by a boy who pretended to care for me. I took over a hundred aspirin and went to bed. I awoke violently ill and semi conscious. My family was so angry, they said terrible things I have yet to find forgiveness for. I couldn’t have my stomach pumped and just had to lay in the hospital waiting. My ears rang for almost six months. I eventually grew up and became the master of my own life and I couldn’t be a happier person. I hardly like to visit that part of my past because its quite painful and things may never fully heal. But I will promise that life has beauty and a certain value to it that you shouldn’t abuse or take into your own hands. Good luck and keep living.

Marie Pang: When I attempted my last suicide more than a year ago, my neighbors were suspicious about me because I didn’t go outside at all for a day, and I never answered their text messages, phone calls, nor the knockings on my door. Finally, EMS was called, and they found me already unconscious. I am forever grateful for my neighbors’ concern, and if they never called EMS, I probably would have died.
For people who have attempted suicide for the first time, I would suggest contacting them with a specialist in the field who would stress the consequences if they do it again: They may not just risk dying but becoming a vegetable or suffering severe pain, and that should scare them from attempting or thinking about it again. As a chronic suicide survivor, my last attempt was very severe. I was in a coma for nine days. I had problems walking, and my short-term memory has been affected. For people with multiple attempts, I suggest the family hospitalize their loved ones to become stabilized on psych medicine and closely observe the effects of the medication to see if it is working or not. Family therapy can be helpful for those who want to participate with the patient’s recovery. However, most families avoid it because of fear that they will be targeted as the main source of the problem.
When I came home after being hospitalized for a month, I was advised by my apartment manager to not discuss my suicidal matters with my neighbors because I scare them too much. Instead, I found helpful Internet support like this to process my thoughts and feelings of suicide. I really am interested in being trained to help survivors as a peer counselor for support and understanding, since I have been there personally. I want to help others who are struggling with suicidal thoughts or feelings or contemplating for the first time or chronic attempts. I wouldn’t mind volunteering somewhere because it would boost my self esteem and do something productive with my life experiences.
I have found an excellent partial hospitalization program for the mentally ill. They provide intense outpatient group therapy and individual therapy to learn coping skills and offer information that would encourage self-esteem and learn about the sickness a little better. The social workers offer assistance to contact sources of support that the patient is interested in.
I never benefited from crisis hotlines because if you’re not actively suicidal or attempting, I feel they just brush me off. They say they can’t just talk and that their purpose is to help people in eminent danger. However, I find support and feedback from online forums that encourage suicidal people to share their thoughts and feelings in a safe way. There are moderators or administrators to offer advice for all types of needs.


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