Tuesday, June 10, 2014

What I’m Learning About Love

What I’m Learning About Love

Christine Gutierrez | June 9, 2014 | Living, Loving
what im learning about love

Love is not a simple feat nor something simply said. Love takes courage and to be honest a hell of a lot of resilience.
Today one of my great teachers and inspirations Maya Angelou passed away. She was a woman who has shared some of my favorite wisdom. And what she said touched home:
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more
time.” – Maya Angelou
It’s easy to love when love is convenient, but what happens when your heart breaks? When you betray or when you are betrayed? What happens when your past creeps up behind you suddenly?
Life is not black and white and love most definitely resides in the shades and colors and the ins and outs and ups and downs.
Love is a warriors sport. I always considered myself a loving person but what I realized was most of the time I loved to receive love, not to give for the sake of giving. I gave to get.
I have recently discovered that true love resides in giving for the sake of giving. In other words, giving without an agenda. That is easier said that done though. It is essential for us to recognize that just like any art it takes a discipline to create it.

Love is an art that requires the discipline to continuously look at oneself and see where you lack, the more you love yourself the more you can love others and be loved by others.

How do we learn this? By loving and losing, by loving and thriving, by loving again and again.

Choose love always. @CosmicChristine (Click to Tweet!)

Today, take a peek behind your walls and see where you feel love still needs to go. What parts of yourself are you not yet loving? Where are you giving to get? Get clear, get honest. In revealing your truth however it hurts – it’s key to deepening your discipline to love better and love fiercer.
Next, choose to love again. Choose to love yourself again and deeper. Choose to love others again and deeper. And choose to allow yourself to be loved again and deeper.
Dive deep, choose love. Go.
Christine

Stop Whining And Get To Work

Stop Whining And Get To Work

Jennifer Pastiloff | June 9, 2014 | Living
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I am a mentor to a few writers and I deal with them on a daily basis while running my site The Manifest-Station. Recently, a few of them came to me feeling upset and frustrated. One person bemoaned his “lack of talent” and suggested that there was no reason to write because who cares? he asked. I mean, who cares what I have to say. No one is listening. I’m not very good. I just got rejected from a site I want to write for and I think I should probably quit while I am ahead, he complained over coffee.
I get this. I am working on my book and at the moment feel like I have hit a wall. I want to throw it against a wall and stomp my feet and pull my hair out. I need to rework a lot of it and that feels overwhelming and frustrating and, since it is a memoir, frankly I am quite sick of my voice. So I get the wanting to quit. Like really really.

Here’s the thing: All of us artists, and by artists I mean: writers, photographers, and painters … let me rephrase … all of us humans — all of us — at one point think that we suck.

We think What’s the point?
And we think we think we think we think.
We think too much.
And what we need to do — what I am attempting to do is this: Just do the work.
I guess Nike was on to something with that slogan? Just do it.

Just do the work. @JenPastiloff (Click to Tweet!)

It’s about THE WORK. (Yes, in all caps for a reason. Because it’s about doing it. A writer is someone who writes not necessarily someone who has published. A painter is someone who paints. And on and on.) It’s about the blank page or canvas- whatever that means to you, whether it’s a metaphor or a literal blank page or blank canvas.

My latest mind-tattoo, which I’ve had to offer up to those writers who came to me for advice: “Get over yourself.”

Sometimes my brain feels like a hamster wheel- filled with repetitive thoughts, running in stupid little circles. The same ones. On repeat. In my 20′s, during my anorexia years, they were things like: You are fat. You are a monster. Nowadays they vary, but sometimes I get tattooed with: You will never finish this book. No one will read this. I try and remove the offending mind-tattoo with one that will serve me better. Get over yourself is helpful. It’s the same thing as when I say, Get out of your head, it’s a bad neighborhood. 
I actually got that one from a shrink I didn’t like very much. He gave me that phrase though. And I borrow it often.
When I start to lament my life or the fact that I have no idea how I am going to finish my book or I start to compare myself to other authors I think of Cher delivering the famous slap and line in the movie Moonstruck, “Snap Out Of It!” and I say Get over yourself. Kindly of course. But nonetheless, with a swift kick in the ass.

Here’s what I want to say to you (and to myself): Everybody’s insecure. Everybody wonders if they should be doing this, whatever “this” is.

Do it.
Write. Paint. Take pictures.

Create.

Stop whining and get to work. Write a shitty sentence. (We all have.) There are so many shitty sentences in the world. Get over it. (There! That was a shitty sentence I just wrote.) And yet and still, I am continuing on.
You, on the other hand, may have stopped reading by now. No matter. I forge on. (We can’t let ourselves stop creating just because someone has stopped reading or doesn’t like us.)
I have been stuck on this Joan Didion quote lately, “I suppose almost everyone who writes is afflicted some of the time by the suspicion that nobody out there is listening.”
Listen, if Didion said that, one of the masters, hopefully there’s a sense of collective relief that everyone has that same concern of “Do I matter? Is anyone listening? Do I suck? Do people think X, Y, or Z about me?”
The answers, consecutively are:
  • Yes, you matter.
  • Some people are listening. At least one person is listening. Some are not listening at all.
  • You do not suck but sometimes you may write a shitty sentence. (Or take a shitty photograph or mess up in a very human way.) Someone on this page wrote that we should make our mistakes out loud. Said he learned that while taking guitar lessons. Something like that. But mostly, you do not suck. Don’t wallow in your own suckery.
  • Some people do think X, Y, or Z about you.
Get over it. Keep working.
Keep creating.
See you in London July 6th. I have an interview coming out in the UK magazine Grazia so please book the workshop before that interview runs as they will be promoting it and I want my Positively Positivers to get a spot!

You Are Gifted

1 John 3:2 
2Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.


Devotional

Your Heavenly Home: We will be pure and sinless
Have you ever noticed that your praying tapers off when you have a guilty conscience? Guilt makes us slink away from God’s presence instead of running to meet him. One of the greatest things about life in heaven someday is that we will be pure and sinless forever. Never again will we hurt or disappoint our heavenly Father. Never again will we feel shame and guilt.
The Bible says, “What we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he [Jesus] appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2).
You know what? I can’t wait to be like Jesus.

Claim What's Yours

Claim What’s Yours

by Gloria Copeland

“So shall your storage places be filled with plenty.” Proverbs 3:10, The Amplified Bible
Jesus told us in Matthew 6:19-21 that we’re to lay up treasure in heaven and not on earth, where moth and rust corrupt and where thieves can break in and steal. I call this our heavenly account!
We have been blessed by God to be able to deposit and withdraw from this account. How do we do that?
You make deposits by giving to God’s work.
The foundation for that giving is the tithe. When you give the first tenth of your income to the Lord, you open the door for God to come into your finances and move supernaturally. Proverbs 3:9-10 says that when you honor the Lord with the first fruits of your increase, your storage places will be filled with plenty.
In addition to your tithe, you can also deposit to your heavenly account by giving offerings into the work of the gospel. When you give, be sure you are giving into good ground. You have to put your seed (money) into good ground if you want a return. (Study Mark 4.)
If you are like me, you’re already eager to get to the bottom line here. You’re saying, “OK, I know that I have an account. I know where it is, and I know how to make deposits. But when can I get the money? When can I make a withdrawal?”
The answer is in Mark 10:29-30. There Jesus was answering the disciples who had asked Him what they were going to get in return for the giving they had done for the gospel’s sake.
He told them they would receive a hundredfold return from their heavenly account today, in this time! Although our deposits are going to be bringing us reward for eternity, we don’t have to wait until we die and go to heaven to draw on those resources. We can make withdrawals on our heavenly account here and now!
And you make those withdrawals with your faith. You do that by releasing your faith in what God has already spoken about the financial blessings that belong to you in Christ Jesus. Then say it with your mouth and believe it in your heart until it comes to pass (Mark 11:22-24).
You reach out with the hand of faith and claim what’s yours!
Speak the Word
“I honor the Lord with my money and with the first fruits of all my income. My storage places are filled with plenty!” —Proverbs 3:9-10, The Amplified Bible
Need prayer? Call 817-852-6000. We’re here for you, 24/7!
Also, visit www.kcm.org/youversion to receive a free gift from Kenneth and Gloria Copeland.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

How To Adore Yourself

How to Adore Yourself

Bethany Butzer, Ph.D. | June 1, 2014 | Inspiring, Loving
How to Adore Yourself
For most of my childhood and early adulthood, I didn’t like myself very much. I had an inner dialogue that constantly listed what I believed were my faults: too short, not smart, too skinny, no talents, socially awkward, no friends, ugly, boring, uncool…the list goes on.

After a few rounds of antidepressants, many years of therapy, and a lot of personal development, I thought I’d gotten better at self-love. But a recent experience showed me that while I’ve become more accepting of myself, I might not be completely on-board the self-love bandwagon.

Case in point:
I recently posted the photo below on Facebook. This is my husband and my cat. My husband eats way faster than I do, so after he’s finished, there’s usually a five to ten minute period that involves him watching me eat. I’ve gotten used to this over the years. But lately our cat has developed a habit of jumping on my husband’s lap after he’s done eating. And then she stares at me too:

A friend of mine responded with this insightful comment:
Looks like a case of adoration. A bad case at that. I’d judge it incurable. You can see it in their eyes. Based on experience, I’d say that you’re not likely to convince them to stop this daily doting without wrecking the relationships. My advice is to somehow learn to live with this routine display of uncritical affection. True the cat doesn’t look quite convinced, but in cat-ese this is about as good as it gets.
And my husband responded to the picture by saying that he looks forward to this moment every day.
I laughed – and almost shrugged off their responses – until I realized that they were right. My husband adores me. I see it in his eyes when I do something stupid that makes him laugh. I feel it in his touch when he holds my hand while we fall asleep. He’s proven it by standing by me during difficult times in my life. Here’s an excerpt from my book that describes such a moment at the very beginning of our relationship:
I’m sitting on the couch with my new boyfriend. We’ve spent a wonderful Saturday together and we’re about to watch a movie. He grabs his bowl of popcorn and flashes me his winning smile, dimples and all – a smile that I subsequently came to adore.
“I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks,” he says, “but I just want to say how lucky I feel. You’re smart, you’re good looking, and you’re funny. It’s almost like you’re too good to be true.”
I turn my head and stare out the window so that he can’t see the pained expression on my face. Little did he know that I’d been on antidepressants for 4 years, and I was planning on making my third attempt to go off them in the next few weeks. In my mind, I’d convinced myself that there was something seriously wrong with me. Why couldn’t I manage to get off these drugs? He was right – I was too good to be true.
I turned to face him and was caught off guard again by his smile – so genuine and full of hope for our new relationship. In that moment, something in me shifted. Maybe the glass of wine that I’d had was going to my head, or maybe, just maybe, I’d finally decided to trust someone with what I was going through.
“Well, I’m definitely not perfect,” I said as I played with a thread that had come loose on the couch. And then it all came spilling out. I told him the story of how I ended up on antidepressants, and I mentioned that I was planning on trying to go off them.
He listened intently, and as I was talking I envisioned the reaction that I expected from him. He would go running for the hills and never look back. I mean really, we were in our 20s, in the prime of our lives, and I appeared to have the emotional baggage of a 40 year old man going through a midlife crisis.
When I finished talking, he paused for a moment – a moment in which I figured he was scaling my apartment to find the fastest escape route. Instead, he put his hand on mine and said very matter of factly:
“Ok, we’ll do this together. When do we start?”
Still, after all these years, I have trouble believing that someone could adore me. And the issue isn’t just with my husband. When friends compliment me on my clothes or my hair or a job well done, I reply with statements like: “Oh this old thing? I got in on sale,” or “Yeah, I just got my hair done to cover the greys,” or “Well, I messed up on this one part of the job, but at least it’s finished.”

Why do we have so much trouble accepting adoration? @BethanyButzer (Click to Tweet!)

Because no matter how much outer adoration we get from other people, we will never be able to accept it until we start adoring ourselves. And here’s the kicker: our self-adoration can’t be based on anything external. It has to come from within.

Wondering how to hop on the self-love bandwagon? Me too. Here are a few tips that I’m trying out:

  • Stop relying on external sources to validate your self-worth. I’ve done pretty well for myself scholastically. I have my PhD, I’ve won lots of scholarships, and now I do research at one of the top academic institutions in the world. But guess what? I still doubt my intelligence. I have an inner voice that tells me I’m not smart, I just work hard. You see, no outer accolade is going to convince me of my brain power. Instead, I need to accept that I am intelligent in my own unique and wonderful way. Notice if you’re relying too much on other people, accomplishments, or possessions to validate your worth. Learn to see your inner light.
  • Stop Trying So Hard. I wrote a blog about not trying so hard that received 14,000 likes on Facebook. Why? Because deep down inside, we’re all sick of trying so hard in pretty much every area of our lives. It’s time to let go of the paddles and allow ourselves to float downstream. We don’t have to try to be anything other than what we truly are, which is perfect, whole, and worthy of love simply by virtue of being a living, breathing, sentient being on this planet. Here’s a great quote that illustrates this point:“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
  • Know the Difference Between Self-Criticism and Self-Improvement. Self-help and personal development are huge these days. And while I’m all for personal development, I think it’s possible to get into self-help overload. We all have areas that we need to improve, but in order to experience true personal transformation, we need to start from a foundation of self-love. Once you have self-love in place, you can honestly look at where you need to improve – not with an overly critical eye – but with a perspective that’s focused on making yourself a better person so that the world can be a better place.
  • Create A “Self-Love 100.” A few years ago I hired Gabrielle Bernstein as a personal coach. One of the first tasks that Gabby asked me to do was create a list of 100 things that I loved about myself. In honor of the fact that this is the 100th blog that I’ve written (WOW!), I am going to challenge you to do the same thing. You can do it all in one sitting, or take five minutes per day over the next two weeks. Focus on big things, little things, and everything in-between. You can include the fact that you like your big toe, that you make a great cup of coffee, or that you’re a good dog-belly-scratcher. When you get to 100, print your list and put it where you can see it. Then, when you feel self-loathing creep in, close your eyes, stick out your index finger, and play pin the tail on the self-love with your list. Wherever your finger lands, soak it up and know that you’re amazing.
Even if you don’t partake in my “Self-Love 100″ challenge, I’d love for you to share one thing that you adore about yourself. Post your comment below!
In the meantime, I’m going to keep working on accepting the fact that it’s perfectly ok for other people to adore me, because I adore myself.

Pursuit Of His Presence

Judges 15:14-16

14As he approached Lehi, the Philistines came toward him shouting. The Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him. The ropes on his arms became like charred flax, and the bindings dropped from his hands. 15Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men.
16Then Samson said,
“With a donkey’s jawbone
I have made donkeys of them.
With a donkey’s jawbone
I have killed a thousand men.” 
 
1 Kings 18  
 
Elijah and Obadiah
1After a long time, in the third year, the word of the Lord came to Elijah: “Go and present yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain on the land.” 2So Elijah went to present himself to Ahab.
Now the famine was severe in Samaria, 3and Ahab had summoned Obadiah, his palace administrator. (Obadiah was a devout believer in the Lord. 4While Jezebel was killing off the Lord’s prophets, Obadiah had taken a hundred prophets and hidden them in two caves, fifty in each, and had supplied them with food and water.) 5Ahab had said to Obadiah, “Go through the land to all the springs and valleys. Maybe we can find some grass to keep the horses and mules alive so we will not have to kill any of our animals.” 6So they divided the land they were to cover, Ahab going in one direction and Obadiah in another.
7As Obadiah was walking along, Elijah met him. Obadiah recognized him, bowed down to the ground, and said, “Is it really you, my lord Elijah?”
8“Yes,” he replied. “Go tell your master, ‘Elijah is here.’ ”
9“What have I done wrong,” asked Obadiah, “that you are handing your servant over to Ahab to be put to death? 10As surely as the Lord your God lives, there is not a nation or kingdom where my master has not sent someone to look for you. And whenever a nation or kingdom claimed you were not there, he made them swear they could not find you. 11But now you tell me to go to my master and say, ‘Elijah is here.’ 12I don’t know where the Spirit of the Lord may carry you when I leave you. If I go and tell Ahab and he doesn’t find you, he will kill me. Yet I your servant have worshiped the Lord since my youth. 13Haven’t you heard, my lord, what I did while Jezebel was killing the prophets of the Lord? I hid a hundred of the Lord’s prophets in two caves, fifty in each, and supplied them with food and water. 14And now you tell me to go to my master and say, ‘Elijah is here.’ He will kill me!”
15Elijah said, “As the Lord Almighty lives, whom I serve, I will surely present myself to Ahab today.”
Elijah on Mount Carmel
16So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and told him, and Ahab went to meet Elijah. 17When he saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?”
18“I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the Lord’s commands and have followed the Baals. 19Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.”
20So Ahab sent word throughout all Israel and assembled the prophets on Mount Carmel. 21Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”
But the people said nothing.
22Then Elijah said to them, “I am the only one of the Lord’s prophets left, but Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets. 23Get two bulls for us. Let Baal’s prophets choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. 24Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by fire—he is God.”
Then all the people said, “What you say is good.”
25Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire.” 26So they took the bull given them and prepared it.
Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. “Baal, answer us!” they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.
27At noon Elijah began to taunt them. “Shout louder!” he said. “Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.” 28So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed. 29Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.
30Then Elijah said to all the people, “Come here to me.” They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the Lord, which had been torn down. 31Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the Lord had come, saying, “Your name shall be Israel.” 32With the stones he built an altar in the name of the Lord, and he dug a trench around it large enough to hold two seahs of seed. 33He arranged the wood, cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them, “Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood.”
34“Do it again,” he said, and they did it again.
“Do it a third time,” he ordered, and they did it the third time. 35The water ran down around the altar and even filled the trench.
36At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: “Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. 37Answer me, Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.”
38Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.
39When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!”
40Then Elijah commanded them, “Seize the prophets of Baal. Don’t let anyone get away!” They seized them, and Elijah had them brought down to the Kishon Valley and slaughtered there.
41And Elijah said to Ahab, “Go, eat and drink, for there is the sound of a heavy rain.” 42So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees.
43“Go and look toward the sea,” he told his servant. And he went up and looked.
“There is nothing there,” he said.
Seven times Elijah said, “Go back.”
44The seventh time the servant reported, “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.”
So Elijah said, “Go and tell Ahab, ‘Hitch up your chariot and go down before the rain stops you.’ ”
45Meanwhile, the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain started falling and Ahab rode off to Jezreel. 46The power of the Lord came on Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel. 
 

Devotional

The Muscle of God

by Kenneth Copeland

“I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.” John 16:7
I have found that most Christians seem to think the first time the Holy Spirit did much of anything was on the Day of Pentecost. But that’s not true. The Holy Spirit has been at work on this planet ever since the beginning.
When God said “Light be!,” the Spirit swung into action and slung this universe into being. He was there just waiting to create. That’s how the Bible introduces the Holy Spirit!
You see, the Holy Spirit is the muscle of God. Every time you see power in manifestation, you can be sure the Holy Spirit is on the scene. When the Holy Spirit came on Samson, he single-handedly killed a thousand Philistine soldiers (Judges 15:14-16).
Some people get the idea that Samson was able to do those great exploits because he was a giant of a man. But he was really just an ordinary fellow. He only became extraordinary when the Spirit of God came on him.
The prophet Elijah was the same way. On his own, he was just as normal as you and me. He was once so frightened by the threats of a woman that he hid in the wilderness and asked God to kill him so he wouldn’t have to face her.
But when the Holy Spirit came on him, Elijah was a powerhouse. He once called down fire from heaven, killed 450 prophets of Baal, and outran the king’s chariot (drawn, no doubt, by the fastest horses in the nation of Israel). And he did it all in one day (1 Kings 18-19).
Now don’t get the idea from these examples, however, that the Holy Spirit is simply a mindless source of raw power. Far from it! When He moves in on a situation, He does it with all wisdom and understanding so vast that it staggers the mind.
“Well then, why hasn’t He helped me before now? Heaven knows I’ve needed it!” you say.
He’s been waiting for you to give Him something to work with. He’s been waiting there inside you, waiting for you to speak the Word of God in faith. That’s been His role since the beginning—to move on God’s Word and deliver the power necessary to cause that Word to manifest in the earth. That’s what He did at Creation...and that’s what He is commissioned to do for you.
But remember, He’s your helper, not your dominator. So decide right now to start opening that door. Develop an awareness of the reality of the Holy Spirit within you. Stop spending all your time meditating on the problems you’re facing and start spending it meditating on the power of the One inside you. Release the muscle of God to work for you!
Speak the Word
“I have received the Holy Spirit; therefore I have received power!” —Acts 1:8
Need prayer? Call 817-852-6000. We’re here for you, 24/7!
Also, visit www.kcm.org/youversion to receive a free gift from Kenneth and Gloria Copeland.
 
 

You Are Gifted: Devotions From Time of Grace

 Romans 8:6
 6The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
Romans 8:8
8Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
 

Devotional

The Holy Spirit Likes Me: He motivates me toward what is good
Here’s a Wall Street question for you--why do you think so many large companies have collapsed and filed for bankruptcy? All too often it is the same old story of powerful people driven by greed--people who stole and lied on a grand scale.
What motivates you? What drives you? Did you know that the Holy Spirit lives in the hearts of believers and provides motivation to act out of love for other people rather than greed?
The Bible says in Romans 8:8,6, “Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God . . . but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” In other words, believers in Christ have spiritual power within them to want the right things and to want the right things and do the right things.