Suicide Attempt Survivor Stories

My name is Patricia Sterenchock, but I prefer Patti. I am a 37 year old female,married 17 years to a wonderful man and I have 4 teenage boys.I am not a very good writer but I am going to try to tell my story the best I can.
My depression started early in my childhood but it was not till many years later that I realized it was depression and it took many more after that till I even helped myself. I lived in an abusive home but I wont go into detail. I have been in and out of psych wards since the age of 14. Every doctor I went to see I didn’t feel as if anything was helping me. I always felt alone.  I felt as if I was living two different lives. I was put on several medication which I didn’t see a change. So as many I started self medicating. Which in time instead of doctors focusing on my depression they focused on my addiction. So it was never solved. I couldn’t handle the way I felt so I would cut myself or anything else I could to harm myself in hopes that it would eventually kill me. It was later on that I realized I was crying out for help.
Unfortunately in 2009 I hit my breaking point. I lost my best friend to suicide.She was the only one I felt or thought cared for me. That sent me over the edge I truly felt alone even thou I had 4 wonderful kids and a husband who loved me even after everything I put them through. I was still using at the time more depressed than ever and my husband pretty much was giving up on me because he didn’t  know what else to do to help me. So in May of 2009 I decide it was it I was tired of hurting inside and also hurting my family and friends so I dumped gas on myself and lit it. I am burned over 60% of my body and the doctors have no idea how I am still here. I was in a coma for two weeks and in the hospital for a month after and had many surgeries.
This last attempt almost killed me but instead it saved me. I am here for a reason and I believe my reason is to save someone else. I went and received my GED and now I am enrolled in collage to receive a Human Service Degree because I legally want to be able to help people and share my full story. I lost my sister(2009)shortly after my attempt and also my best friends mother who I was close to this past year. I want to be their voice because they are no longer here to share their stories.
I have visible scars to everyone and when asked what happened I tell them the truth. I am not embarrassed by what I did and it needs to be known that other people are not alone. I am here for anyone who need a friend to talk to. Everyone needs someone who understands them not someone who only knows what they hear or read in a book. My story will continue and I will reach my goal as a survivor and I will make a difference.