Staying Sane When Everything is Going Wrong

Sometimes it seems that no matter what you do, some days it seems like you would have been better off staying in bed. And sometimes, even that is no escape. There are natural therapies, available to everyone, that cost zero, that can help get you back on track. After all, everyone wants to feel good about themselves. The truth is that a person with a poor self-image and a depressed attitude can do little to be an uplifting source of inspiration to those others important to you.
So if you have ever had a day that begins with missing the alarm clock because the power went out, the toast burned, one of the kids is sick, you were wishing for a night of intimacy with your special other, you get a speeding ticket, the boss reams you out, the trip home from work is a series of delays and the children are waiting at the babysitter’s, your teenager is in a cranky mood, and your significant other expects a night of much needed romance, you are tired and exhausted, and…..
Everyone has days like this from time to time. It is a numbers game, and sooner or later, your turn comes up. The important thing to remember is that, when taken in relation to other peoples’ lives, your problems may seem insignificant. It is easy for others to say it is trivial because they are feeling fine, while you feel like the wrath of God has rained all over you. But, don’t worry, their turn will come as well.
The solutions that follow should not be tried when operating machinery, driving a vehicle, flying an airplane, or when in imminent danger. Use common sense.
The following is a list of tried and tested methods to get your mind to slow down and help get back on track:
1: STOP! Breathe in deeply, and slowly, hold for a few seconds, then slowly breathe out. Do this 3 times. This will prevent hyperventilation, you know, the short, rapid breaths and the elevated heartbeat and temperature.
2: GET AWAY! Try to get away from the source of irritation. If you can’t escape to a quiet place for five minutes, try just sitting down with your eyes closed. This will lower the amount of stimulus to the brain.
3: READ! Find a relaxing magazine that will stimulate other senses, such as a holiday magazine. Better yet, read a few pages of your favourite book. Some good ideas for reading material should focus on your hobbies, interests or desires. Try to avoid reading newspapers, tabloids, and other material that does not uplift you at the expense of others.
4: LISTEN! If it is necessary to relax, choose soothing melodies with soft instrumental backgrounds. If you need uplifting, listen to your favourite pop music, if necessary, but stay away from pounding beats, as they tend to slow down the decision-making processes. Try headphones.
5: WRITE: Try making a list of the most important three things you wish to accomplish today. Don’t try to do more than that, if the world seems to be closing in around you. Be reasonable. Pace yourself. As each item is done, draw a line through it. There is something magical that happens when you draw the line through a finished item.
6: SHARE! Write a note to someone you trust, explaining how you feel, and why. It doesn’t have to be a long letter, but the more you write, the better you will feel. Better yet, write a letter or email to someone and try to cheer them up, even if they don’t need cheering up. Watch what happens to you when you do this one!
7: CARE! Do something nice for someone. Choose someone who has nothing to give back to you. Be unselfish. Be totally there with that person, even if it is only for a few minutes. Help a child tie their shoe, visit a senior in a retirement home, Stop in to see a seldom-visited friend, and ask how they are. When they speak, tune out all else and listen. Try to understand each word they say, and acknowledge it.
8: REMEMBER! Who are you, really. Deep down inside, away from the clutter of your fast paced life, there is the person that you see yourself as. Maybe it is when you were in a certain grade in school, and you felt the best about yourself, maybe it was after winning, perhaps it is as you see yourself in the mirror now. Whatever is the best image you have of yourself, close your eyes and see it.
9: AFFIRM! Don’t be afraid to say to yourself, “I’m OK. I am a good person. I deserve to be loved. I love others, and I am good for them. I am feeling better, already.
10: CHOOSE! How the day goes from here is your choice. Expect the best. It beats the alternative.
Then, reward yourself. The reward can be something as simple as a cup of coffee, a candy bar or snack, or, if a real pick-me-up is needed, find the nearest small airport and ask the airport manager about buying a Pilot for a Day package. The thrill and exhilaration of flight is a sure way to clean out the mental clutter. If you have never stretched your limits, this is a guaranteed way to feel better about yourself. After all, not everyone has the fortitude to step out of their comfort zone.

When Everything Seems To Be Going Wrong

How to deal with life when you feel utterly overwhelmed.

Published on October 22, 2009 by Alex Lickerman, M.D. in Happiness in this World

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For me, this last week has been a little rough. I've been working as an attending physician on an inpatient service populated with incredibly sick patients, several of whom are intensely angry about their diseases and are projecting their anger toward me and the team of residents with whom I work. The medical informatics project on which I'm the physician sponsor has just gone live with its most ambitious and radical portion and many physicians are nervous and resistant and are acting out in negative ways. I'm struggling to find the time to practice Buddhism, to work on my book and this blog, fulfill my work responsibilities, my relationship responsibilities to both my wife and son, continue a regular program of exercise, get adequate sleep, and relax. In short, in the last week my life has felt a bit out of control and a little overwhelming.

In a previous post, The True Cause Of Depression, I discussed how having multiple problems at once seems to cause more stress than having only one or two. I likened the handling of challenges to balancing a "plate" of a certain size and suggested if we pile too many problems onto it, not only do we risk having it topple over, we often find ourselves wanting to pitch the whole thing on purpose. That's certainly how I've been feeling. So I thought it might be helpful to review the strategies I use when my life-condition slips.
LIFE-CONDITION
And a slip in my life-condition is what's really to blame. Certainly many people are facing far more oppressive circumstances than what I described above (especially the very patients I complained about). But the degree of pain and suffering people experience can't be calculated by observing their outward circumstances. Pain and suffering always occur as a result of a low life-condition, explaining, among other things, how millionaires can be miserable.
A story famous among Nichiren Buddhists tells of a practicing SGI member who went to see an SGI leader for encouragement about a particular problem he was having. However, before he could even begin to explain his circumstances, the leader pointed to a large oak desk and asked him to lift it. Bewildered, the member replied, "There's no way I can lift that. It's way too heavy." To which the leader responded, "The problem isn't that the desk is too heavy. The problem is that you're too weak." His point, of course, was that our ability to win isn't determined by the size of our problems but by the strength of our life force. When you feel overwhelmed by your own life, rather than focusing on finding a different set of more manageable problems (as if that were even possible), you should look for ways to raise your life-condition so you can gain access to the wisdom, courage, and energy you need to solve the problems you have. If you don't have a process or a practice that does this for you, find one. Will power and intellect alone are often insufficient.
This is the real answer about what to do when everything seems to be going wrong: find a way to transform your perspective so that obstacles feel like opportunities. But if that seems too abstract, or you're having trouble finding a practice that works for you, or you're not interested in finding a practice at all, I'd offer the following techniques for making yourself feel better when you feel bad. These are just clever tricks—some comforting thoughts really—but ones that you might find useful.
TRICKS AND COMFORTING THOUGHTS THAT MAY WORK

1. Visualize yourself succeeding. Like a professional skier envisioning every twist and turn of a ski run before making it, imagining yourself on the other side of a problem even in the abstract can activate a powerful belief in your ability to succeed. Even if today you have no idea how to win, a belief that you can—even a "blind" belief—can be empowering if it's a belief in yourself.
2. Avoid making important life decisions when your life-condition is low. The kinds of thoughts you'll have in general are always more reflective of your life-condition at the moment rather than the circumstances in which you find yourself. You'll best avoid future misery if you can consciously recognize when circumstances have gotten you down and thereby produced gloomy feelings and defeatist thoughts—which, when your life-condition is higher, are nowhere to be found.
3. Imagine you've already achieved a desired goal (one you're completely confident you can) and bathe now in the joy you anticipate you'll feel later. I've often found that daydreaming about future successes lifts my spirits by bouncing my mind out of my present difficulties into future imagined glories.
4. Force yourself to focus on one problem at a time. Focus on what's easiest, most important, or that which you can solve soonest. Reducing the total number of challenges confronting you will be an enormous relief and help combat the tendency to feel defeated when facing what seems to be an overwhelming number of problems.
5. Wait. My four favorite words for weathering all storms: this too shall pass. Think of entering into a waiting mode as an active process, not a passive acceptance of whatever fate has in store for you. Other good things often happen that raise your life-condition and enable you to handle the mess you're facing more easily. You may think you know all the bad things that are going to happen, but outcomes we anticipate—good and bad—most often don't turn out the way we envisioned.
6. Access your creativity to solve problems. Reduce the chatter in your head by listening to moving music, by meditating, by chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Solutions often bubble up from the subconscious when the conscious mind floats.
7. Find something to distract you. Take a real break from thinking about your problems when you're not actively engaged in solving them. Because it's much harder to turn off obsessive thoughts about the challenges facing you than turn on more positive thoughts, finding something genuinely distracting is the best strategy. Humor works for me as long as it's humor that's genuinely funny. Nothing wrong with taking a break from fighting the good fight to recharge your batteries. In fact, strange as this may sound, there's nothing wrong with engaging in controlled denial. As long as you don't let it prevent you from acting when action is required, it can be an extremely effective way to combat anxiety. Or...
8. Take on your anxiety directly. Identify the thoughts that make you anxious and follow them to their logical extreme. Wrap your mind around what it would feel like for your worst fears to be realized. What would you do then? Often if we force ourselves to imagine the worst in concrete terms it feels less frightening than it does when we imagine it abstractly.
9. Ask for help. You don't have to do it all by yourself. I struggle with this one a lot, not because I have any aversion to asking for help, but because I just rarely seem to think to do it.
10. Accept that you must face something unpleasant. Stop worrying about experiencing pain. Stop trying to avoid it. You'll make it through and survive. Prepare yourself to feel whatever there is to feel. The longer you wait to feel it, the more anticipatory dread you'll feel as well. As Nichiren Daishonin wrote, "Suffer what there is to suffer. Enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life."
11. Whatever you're going through actually does represent an opportunity for growth. The thing about cliches is that they're mostly true.
12. There will come a time when you'll struggle even to remember what's causing you so much angst today. It's hard to project yourself into that future, but if you stop think about it, you've almost certainly already forgotten about most of the trying experiences you've faced in the past (not, of course, the life-changing experiences—but most things that get us down on a daily basis are much more mundane).

WHEN YOU FEEL COMPLETELY DEFEATED
Or maybe it's even worse for you than I've described. Maybe you feel like everyone and everything is conspiring against you, that no one sees things quite the way you do, and that you're alone in the wilderness and the world. Whether this is actually true or not is irrelevant: if it feels as though it is, it can't but help plunge your life-condition into the world of Hell, the lowest of the Ten Worlds.
When this is how you feel, you must summon up the stand-alone spirit. Even if everyone and everything—the entire world—is pointing left, if you believe the correct direction to point is right, then point to the right you must. If you feel within whatever context your problems are occurring that you have the gift of sight in a country of the blind, you must fight to help others to see until either they do or you learn you were wrong, not they.
Society, discovery, and culture are advanced by people who have every reason to remain seated but who stand up anyway; by people who resolutely and consistently point out what they believe is true. If you do this despite whatever fears the prospect of doing so brings, eventually others will be emboldened by your example and stand up with you. And then you'll have made a worthy contribution to the world.

Ten Signs You're Depressed But Don't Know It

Depression affects so many people that it is often called the common cold of mental illness. The Centers For Disease Control estimates that 19 million Americans suffer from it. At some point in their lives, 10% to 25% of women and 5% to 12% of men will become clinically depressed. The sputtering economy and tenuousness of the job market doesn’t help: The Consumer Confidence Index just plunged to its lowest level since 1980.
Depression is no fashionable affliction. In it is real, insidious, and when in full bloom, debilitating. Yet far too many people are oblivious to their own deep sadness or simply refuse to recognize it. Emotional vulnerability? Verboten–especially among the achiever set. They’re less likely to ask for help than Tea Party members are to ask for a tax hike.

11 images Photos: Ten Horrible Reasons To Get Rich

 

Ignorance and denial are not cures for depression. They are guarantees that when you finally own up to your sadness, it will kick you a hell of a lot harder than when you started suppressing it.

Here are 10 ways to detect depression early and let the healing begin.
1. You are over-confident and fearless.


Many people–and especially high achievers–cope with depression by acting in ways opposite to how they feel. (Shrinks call this “escapism.”) Engaging in daredevil pursuits, be it  mounting a takeover of a rival company or quitting your job to open a restaurant, makes you feel invincible, when you’re really in the dumps. There is a method to this madness: The major cause of depressions–those not born of biochemical imbalances, of which there are plenty–is feeling out of control or helpless. Achievers loathe that feeling and fight like hell to deny it through action. But that, ultimately, won’t work.
2. You’ve gone from one drink with dinner to three before appetizers.
“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” Bernard Shaw’s observation is as true now as it was then. Drinking alcohol is the most common tactic people take to self-medicate emotional pain. The problem with this strategy is that when you finally recognize the pain driving you to drink, you’ll have two disorders to contend with rather than one.
3. You’re obsessed with achievement in bed.
Have a limp libido? Going on a Hugh-Hefner-like tear may not lift your spirits.  If you find you’ve traded serial monogamy for seducing any partner that will have you, there is a good chance you’re trying to keep depression at bay.
In Pictures: 10 Signs You’re Depressed But Don’t Know It
4. Conflicts quickly escalate into fights.
One common but exceedingly dumb way to dull the feeling of helplessness brought on by depression is to show people you’re nobody’s patsy. Get cut off on the highway? Run the bastard off the road. Have an idea shot down at a brainstorming session? Take the opinionated punk outside and pummel him. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll have enough bruises to distract you from your emotional pain.
5. You feel nothing.
Rather than be sad, many people would choose to forgo feeling altogether. But some people end up getting stuck in neutral–dooming them to invite the same pain again and again. Worse, this zombie-like approach creates anxiety in those around you and alienates those who care for you.


6. You can’t stop socializing.
Immersing yourself in group activities sounds healthy–and for many people it is. However, if the sole purpose is to keep you from wrestling with your thoughts and feelings, having a brimming social calendar is not the answer (and you probably won’t be all that fun a companion anyway). Like the toxic mortgage securities still stinking up bank balance sheets, you have to flush out the dreck before you can start investing anew.
7. You can’t concentrate.

Everyone suffers from scattered thoughts now and again. Those who are depressed but who possess too much control to act out recklessly may do so in fantasy. But how to distinguish a healthy daydream from potentially dangerous ones? Healthy dreams involve changes in your life that you can realize in a handful of steps. Unhealthy ones take you from middle-class to movie-stardom overnight.
8. You have trouble accepting praise or goodwill.
Martin Seligman, the psychologist who revolutionized our thinking about depression, studied the behavior of dogs that were given electric shocks. Eventually, they would lay helplessly in their cages, not responding to tugs on their leashes that would have moved them to safety from the shocks. The human corollary: If you find yourself ignoring favorable gestures or simple interpersonal warmth, chances are you’re not a malcontent. You’re depressed.
In Pictures: 10 Signs You’re Depressed But Don’t Know It
9. You work harder, not smarter.
When people are depressed, they have trouble seeing novel solutions to their problems. Instead, they do more of the same. The classic example is trying to exercise your way to happiness: If you already log a few hours a week at the gym, spending another 30 more minutes every day may briefly lift your spirits. But that relief is ephemeral. When it dissipates, get off the treadmill and get to the root of what’s bothering you.
10. You laugh and cry at times that don’t call for it.

In psychiatry, the concept “inappropriate affect” refers to behavior that is emotionally out of sync with the stimulus that prompted it. People who are depressed but do not know it exhibit a unique variant of this problem: They over-react to insignificant sadness, and ignore major league bad news.
This flavor of depression, a stepchild of alexithymia which causes a gross lack of appropriate feelings, can really make you feel out-of-control.  I first came across it when one of my clients told me of taking his children to the movies: “I cried in the theater when a deer lost its mother,” he said, “but when my partner handed me the legal papers demanding a dissolution of our business, I threw them in my ‘In Box’ and proceeded to order lunch.”

Image via Wikipedia

Abraham Maslow, one of America’s most influential psychologists, observed: “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” Fess up to how you feel so you can fight on.
You’ll be amazed at how relieved you’ll feel when you do.

DON'T...

Words of Wisdom

Joyce Meyer Ministries

3 hours ago

Our amazing, incredible Savior "went about" doing good. You don’t even have to go to seminary. You can just “went about” and serve the Lord with gladness. (Acts 10:38)

 

Creflo A. Dollar

about an hour ago

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:12

The Official Rev. Dr. Jacqueline McCullough

14 hours ago via mobile

When we agree with God's will, He promises to give us perfect peace. If we don't have peace it is because there is something that God is telling us to do that we don't want to do. We are not in agreement with God! Don't you want peace? Start agreeing with God. - Pastor Jackie McCullough #ARestoredGeneration

 

Victoria Osteen

2 minutes ago

In the Bible, Joseph went through seasons of difficulty. He was rejected by his family, sold into slavery, lied about, mistreated, abandoned, falsely accused and thrown in jail. But through it all, Joseph never gave up and he fulfilled the call of God on his life!

 

Mike Freeman

about an hour ago via mobile

Confession brings on possession; if you can't confess, you can't possess!!!

Joel Osteen Ministries

10 hours ago

There are incredible opportunities in front of you. You may have had some bad breaks, but always remember, God has promised beauty for ashes. Now let go of the ashes.

Joel Osteen Ministries

about an hour ago

You may be up against a big challenge today, but that means you have a big destiny. The size of your problem is an indication of the size of your future.

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

Life is full of things that try to push us down. We all face disappointments and setbacks. Maybe you received some bad news about your health or perhaps a relationship didn’t work out. That was a setback. It’s easy to get discouraged or lose your enthusiasm or even be tempted to just settle where you are. But if we’re going to see God’s best, we have to have a “bounce-back” mentality. That means when you get knocked down, you don’t stay down. You get back up again. You have to know that every time adversity comes against you, it’s a setup for a comeback!

Remember, as a believer in Jesus, the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives on the inside of you. There is no challenge too difficult, no obstacle too high, no sickness, no disappointment, no person, nothing that can keep you from your God-given destiny. If you stay in faith, then God will turn what was meant to be a stumbling block into a stepping stone, and you’ll move forward in strength, full of faith and victory!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father, thank You for setting me up for success in everything I do. I choose to trust and rely on You knowing that Your plans are for my good. I know my best days are ahead of me and look ahead to the blessings You have in store for me in Jesus’ name. Amen.

— Joel & Victoria Osteen

Hero bus driver halts suicide

 

In an Oct. 28, 2013, photo provided by the Niagara Frontier Transportation Authority, NFTA bus driver Darnell Barton poses in front of a bus in Buffalo, N.Y. On Oct. 18, 2103, Barton’s decisive action stopped a woman from leaping from a roadway bridge to her death on to the highway below. Caught between the rules of his job and his training as a first responder, Barton stopped his bus, grabbed the woman and brought her back over the rail to safety. (AP Photo/Niagara Frontier Transportation Authority, Doug Hartmayer)

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Buffalo NY bus driver hailed as hero after talking suicidal woman down off bridge as dash cam records all (story and video)

In an Oct. 28, 2013, photo provided by the Niagara Frontier Transportation Authority, NFTA bus driver Darnell Barton poses in front of a bus in Buffalo, N.Y. On Oct. 18, 2103, Barton’s decisive action stopped a woman from leaping from a roadway bridge to her death on to the highway below. Caught between the rules of his job and his training as a first responder, Barton stopped his bus, grabbed the woman and brought her back over the rail to safety. (AP Photo/Niagara Frontier Transportation Authority, Doug Hartmayer)

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By John Luciew | jluciew@pennlive.com
Email the author | Follow on Twitter
on October 31, 2013 at 8:01 AM

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It is the story of the good Samaritan caught on a Buffalo municipal bus’s dash cam recorder: There is a woman precariously perched over the railing of a bridge. A man walks right by her, and someone on a bicycle zooms past, too.
But not Darnell Barton. He spots the woman, knows something’s wrong and halts his bus full of passengers. The dash cam video plays out like a movie. Barton talks the woman down from the railing. He sits with her on the sidewalk. And then he returns to the bus, only to receive a round of applause from his passengers.
He is an everyday hero whose good deed might have gone unnoticed, but for the dash cam. Now it stands as an inspirational lesson to the world about being your brother's keeper.
Barton’s bus driver colleagues call the massive man “Big Country.” But on this day, when it counted, Barton displayed his huge heart. And what a sight it is to behold.

Bus driver saves woman from jumping off bridge

http://www.youtube.com/v/Wb0EMiotuGw?autohide=1&version=3&showinfo=1&attribution_tag=EiNX03MnRG2vMXieUNLHNQ&autoplay=1&autohide=1&feature=share

Day 230

Thu Oct 31

1 Corinthians 6:20  

 

20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Devotional

Taking Care of Your Body 

Some of us haven't learned to love our bodies enough to properly care for them. To change that, we must confront the three biggest obstacles to healthy living.
We don't know how to care for our bodies. Bad diets, misinformation, and fast foods have confused people about what a wholesome diet is and how to eat the right foods in proper amounts.
Our view of body image is skewed by media and advertising. We're bombarded with unattainable ideals of beauty, while obesity is so prevalent that it's almost considered normal. We need to rediscover what a healthy person looks like.
Exercise is nearly obsolete. We've invented enough conveniences that we often live completely void of exercise. We don't even walk anywhere if we don't have to! But the truth is, a good deal of our well-being is dependent on exercising our bodies.
If you struggle with these obstacles, make a decision today that you will not be defeated. God tells us to treat our bodies well, and He will always help us do the things He tells us to do. So make a decision to rely on God's strength and live a healthier lifestyle.
Prayer Starter: God, I want to honor You by taking care of my body and living a healthy life. I believe that I can make changes through Your power that is at work in me.

Meditate On This

Meditate On

And when the dew fell on the camp in the night, the manna fell on it.

Numbers 11:9

Grace For Your Darkest Moments

Look at today’s verse and notice that the manna fell on the camp of the Israelites during the night.
My friend, night speaks of the darkest moments in one’s life. This means that in your darkest moments, God is still supplying you His “manna” or grace. He has not abandoned you and left you to your own devices. No, He is still there with you, caring for you, watching over you and working things out for your good.
So beloved, rest in God’s love for you and let Him sort things out for you. Stop trying to solve the problem in your own strength and wisdom—let God be God to you. He is with you, for your success and will provide for your needs. His grace for you falls afresh every day. His mercies that are new every morning will also see you through the darkest nights!
Today, just see His grace upon you and all around you. Be conscious of it, thank Him for it, and see His grace do wonders for you!

Worry

Words of Wisdom

Joyce Meyer Ministries

3 hours ago

We think we need someone to love us but really what we need is someone to love. There’s no one in the whole world who can’t find someone to love because the whole world is desperate to be loved.

 

Creflo A. Dollar

2 hours ago

You are blessed! You are a carrier of God’s glory. The Holy Spirit is eager to express God’s ability through you today! (Ephesians 1:3) #FollowTheFlow

Mike Freeman

16 minutes ago via mobile

You can't help yourself be the best with just yes people around you!!!

 

Victoria Osteen

about an hour ago

Don’t waste precious moments of today dwelling on hurts from the past. Forgive and let go so you can embrace the good things God has in store for your future!

Joel Osteen Ministries

2 hours ago

If you’re going to keep moving forward, you’ve got to have a strong will. Rise up and say, “I know what’s in my future is greater than what’s in my past, so I am pressing forward in life.”

 

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

Did you know that when you compare yourself to others or wish you were like someone else, it’s like saying He just didn’t do a good job? It’s actually like saying, “God, why did You make me subpar? Why did You make me less than?” Realize today, God didn’t make anyone inferior. He didn’t make any person second class. No, you are a masterpiece! You are fully loaded and totally equipped for the race that’s been designed for you!

Today, let your attitude be, “I may not look like someone else or have the job that someone else has. That’s okay. Nobody will ever be a better me. I’m anointed to be me. I’m equipped to be me!” Remember, it’s easy to do what you are equipped to do. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to be like someone else. Accept who God made you to be and embrace the good things He has prepared for you!


A PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father, thank You for making me. Thank You for equipping me to fulfill my destiny. Today I choose to focus on what You’ve placed in my hand knowing that as I am faithful to You, You will direct my steps. I bless You and praise You for who You are in Jesus’ name. Amen.

— Joel & Victoria Osteen

Suspect in S.C. murder-suicide released 4 kids before bloodbath, cops say

Officials are investigating after finding the bodies of two males, two females, and two children in a home Tuesday night in Greenwood County, South Carolina.

By Ali Fateh, Niven McCall-Mazza and Henry Austin, NBC News

The main suspect in a "horrific" South Carolina murder-suicide that left six people dead, including two children, released four other children before the slaughter began, police told NBC News late Monday.  
A SWAT team discovered the grisly scene at a Greenville area home, where a man in a 911 call placed just before 6 p.m. had told a police dispatcher he was feeling “edgy” and thinking about hurting himself, Greenwood County Sheriff Tony Davis said at a news briefing.
While sheriff’s deputies were responding to the call, a neighbor called 911 to report that she had heard a shot and that children from the Callison Highway residence had fled to her home. Authorities believe the suspected killer released four children from the house before the bloodbath, sheriff’s spokesman John Long told NBC News.

Treating the incident as a hostage situation, deputies called in a negotiator. But when there was no response from inside the home, a SWAT team entered the home, where the bodies of victims between age nine to 50 were discovered, Davis told reporters. “It’s just a situation that takes your heart,” said Davis, an official with almost 40 years’ experience, who said that he had never been called to a scene with so many victims. “It’s sad, it’s horrific," he added. "Your heart has to go out to all of the family members and everyone involved in some point, not in a law enforcement capacity, but in some point or another we know all these individuals.”It did not initially appear that the dead children were related to the shooter, although Davis said the suspected killer may have been the boyfriend of one of the victims.

“It appears to be a domestic situation,” he said, adding that the “edgy” man had told a police dispatcher that “he was going harm himself and then he hung up the phone.”
A state forensic team will investigate the crime scene,  before investigators all get together try to piece the case together, he said.
NBC News' M. Alex Johnson contributed to this report.

Meditate On This

Meditate On

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Romans 8:15, NIV

The Spirit Of Sonship

The Spirit of sonship which we have received from God is the Spirit by which we cry, “Abba, Father.” Have you ever cried to God like He is your Daddy? Yes, He is El Shaddai. He is Elohim. But in the new covenant He is Daddy! The Holy Spirit put the Aramaic word “Abba” there, which means “Daddy” or “Papa” in English, and didn’t have it translated because He wants us to know that God is not a distant, impersonal being, but a close and intimate Daddy! That is the Spirit of sonship.
My friend, when you pray, learn to say, “Dear Daddy God…” Forget the formalities and traditions of man. Just call Him “Daddy”, and sense His closeness to you. You can bring all your cares, worries and anxieties to Him, knowing that the all-powerful King of the universe is your Daddy!
At the cross, Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46). For the first time, He addressed His Father as “God.” He experienced distance—in fact, a cutting-off—from the Father because He was carrying all our sins upon Himself. Why? So that you and I can experience closeness and intimacy with the Father, and cry out “Daddy!” from our hearts.
A child who cries “Daddy!” belongs in his daddy’s embrace. So when we cry out, “Daddy God!” we take our place as His beloved children, and find our strong and loving Daddy rushing in to embrace, protect and deliver us!

Day 229

Day 229 of 365

Let God Do the Heavy Lifting One of the most important things I have learned is to let God do the heavy lifting. Too many times we see what's wrong with ourselves and try to fix it through our own strength, but this will never be good enough. Jesus said in John 15:5, "Apart from me you can do nothing" (NIV). We may try to be self-sufficient, but we need to let God supply the grace and ability to do what we need to do. Willpower and determination can get us started, but they've been known to quit in the middle and leave us stranded. We can learn to enjoy the life Jesus died to give us by inviting God to become involved in every aspect of it. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew11:28 NIV). We are not made to function without God. And with Him, we can break any bad habit or addiction, like overeating, substance abuse, poor time management, anger issues, you name it. Jesus is bigger than any problem you have. Prayer Starter: God, I know that I'm nothing without You, so I invite You into every area of my life. I'll let You do the heavy lifting, following and trusting You every day. John 15:5

John 15:5 NIV

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

These Types of Children Have an Increased Risk of Suicidal Thoughts

 

By Dr. Mercola

If you have watched or read any news lately, it is likely you have heard some of the tragic stories about young people committing suicide.
Children killing themselves as a result of being bullied has been a particular focus in the media recently, sparking numerous debates and new anti-bullying legislation in a number of states.
It is truly disheartening that so many of our youth feel desperate enough to take their own lives, obviously feeling hopeless about ever feeling better. It makes it doubly tragic that so many parents must endure the mental anguish of losing a child—especially losing a child to suicide.
A rather new question that further adds to the tragic nature of many of these cases is: What role do antidepressants play in shaping this trend?
As more and more teens are prescribed antidepressants, antipsychotic drugs and drugs for ADD/ADHD, suicide rates have gone up rather than decreased. I'll explore this particular facet of this troubling trend in a moment.

Shocking Teen Suicide Statistics

As of 2007, suicide ranked as the third leading cause of death among young people (ages 15 to 24), exceeded only by accidents and homicides. Sadly, suicides account for 1.4 percent of all deaths in the U.S. each year, but comprise 12.2 percent of all deaths among 15-24 year-olds.
In other words, the proportion of deaths resulting from suicide amongst teenagers is nine times the proportion for adults!

Every Two Hours, Another Youth Commits Suicide

Here are some other alarming statistics, obtained from the American Association of Suicidology:

• There are approximately 11.3 youth suicides each and every day in the U.S. Every two hours and seven minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide.
• In the past 60 years, the suicide rate has quadrupled for 15-24 year-old males and doubled for females.
• Males in this age group are 4-5 times more likely than females to complete suicide. However, females are more likely to attempt suicide. This is largely a result of males tending to choose more lethal methods (firearms) as a means of ending their lives, whereas girls more often choose less lethal methods (pills).
• Between 1981 and 2007, suicide rates for children ages 10-14 increased by 50 percent.
• In the U.S. in 2007, 119 children ages 10-14 completed suicide. In this age group, suicide is the fourth leading cause of death.
• Guns are the most commonly used suicide method among youth, accounting for 45.9 percent of all completed suicides. Guns in the home have proved deadly to children.
• It is estimated there are more than 1,000 suicides on college campuses each year. According to the American College Health Association, 9.5 percent of college students have seriously contemplated suicide, and 1.5 percent have made an attempt.

Interpersonal Conflicts Top the List of Reasons Youth Commit Suicide

Interpersonal conflicts are often the core problem of your adolescent's reasons for suicide. One of the most serious conflicts an adolescent can encounter is the issue of gender identity. The social repercussions of this issue can be profoundly distressing to a teen, and unfortunately the bullying and "gay bashing" that sometimes occurs can result in a suicide attempt.
LGBT teens (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) are far more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers.
Over 30 percent of LGBT youth report at least one suicide attempt within the last year. More than 50 percent of transgender youth attempt suicide at least once before their 20^th birthday.
Forth Worth City Councilman Joel Burns captured the heart of the public recently by telling his own story about the bullying he faced as a gay teen at a public council meeting October 13, 2010. His powerful message to the nation's youth is a poignant example of the devastating effects bullying can have on a child.
Regardless of your feelings and beliefs about the gender identity issue, I think we can all agree this particular group deserves more support and compassion from society. As researchers have attempted to get a handle on youth suicide, they have identified several important trends:

• Most adolescent suicides occur after school in the teen's home.
• If you have a child in high school, it is likely three students in his classroom have made suicide attempts in the past year.
• Threatening to kill oneself precedes four out of five suicides.
• Not all suicidal children admit their intent. Therefore, any deliberate self-harming behaviors should be seriously evaluated.
• Most teen suicide attempts are precipitated by interpersonal conflicts. The suicide behavior often represents a child's desperate attempt to change the behavior and attitudes of others.
• If your child makes more than one nonfatal attempt, she is using this as a means of coping with ongoing stress. Children who do this need immediate help learning better ways of coping.
• What cultural factors could be responsible for the fragile emotional health of our youth?

Teen Suicide is a Blend of Biological, Emotional, Spiritual and Social Factors

I believe today's rates of suicide in our young people stems from several key areas, including:

• Too much electronic media. Television and Internet ads are a powerful tool the food industry uses to manipulate and deceive kids into purchasing more health-harming and mood-altering processed food and junk food. Another major problem is the EMF radiation bombarding children day in and day out. For example, cell phones are exposing their brains to dangerous levels of radiation, the damaging effects of which we are only beginning to see.
• Vast increases in off-label psychiatric drug use for kids. Psychotropic drugs that have not been approved for children are nevertheless being prescribed for depression, anxiety, insomnia, distractibility, and even shyness or social awkwardness. Antidepressants top this list (which I will discuss in detail later).
• Decreased parental involvement. Many kids are growing up in single-parent households, or those where both parents are working, so a large number of children are spending more time alone (or with peers) than with parents. Many are not receiving enough adult guidance and modeling, so they don't have the opportunity to learn the coping skills necessary to effectively deal with stress.
• Increased toxins in your environment and food supply. Estimates show most Americans have somewhere between 400 and 800 chemicals stored in their bodies. Exposure to environmental toxins from your air, water and food supply has been linked to depression, attention deficit disorder, schizophrenia, and less ability to cope with stress.
• No outlet for negative emotions. Children learn by example. If a child is never taught how to release his sadness or fear or other negative emotions, he may be at increased risk for depression and suicide. Early childhood stress can have a lingering effect on your child's health—mental AND physical.
• Loss of connection with the Earth. Children today spend most of their time inside buildings, disconnected from the earth and its healing electrical field. Even when they are outside, they wear rubber-soled shoes that effectively shield them from the healing energy of the Earth. There is exciting new research underway about how reconnecting with the Earth (walking barefoot), also known as "earthing," can result in profound healing of your mind and body.

And then there's the new bully on the block: the cyberbully. No longer are encounters with bullies limited to the back alley on the way home from school.

21^st Century Terrorizing: The Age of the Cyberbully

Cyberbullying is a relatively new means of abuse that has received a great deal of media attention lately.Cyberbullying is defined as follows:

"Cyberbullying is when a child or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones."

For the mean-spirited, the methods for cyberbullying are endless and limited only by a child's imagination and access to technology. Children have killed each other, as well as themselves, after being involved in cyberbullying.
A recent review of 37 international studies, which explored bullying and suicide risk, concluded that children who are victims, perpetrators, or even witnesses to bullying have an increased risk for suicidal thoughts.
With social networking and electronic media expanding the ways kids can bully, tease and otherwise malign their peers, a great deal of damage can be done in a very short period of time, devastating the victim's life. The use of electronic media allows the bully to retain some "perceived distance" and even anonymity from the victim, while doing extensive and irretractable damage.
With the Internet, there are no take-backs, even if the bully later has second thoughts!
This recent take on bullying has created new levels of stress for our youth, which directly impacts suicidal behaviors. It is vitally important that you monitor what your child is doing on the Internet. For more about how to prevent cyberbullying or stop it once it starts, go to www.stopcyberbullying.org. In order to prevent teen suicide from all angles, it is vital to recognize what leads to it, and then address the causes.

How to Tell if Your Child is at Risk for Suicide

Unfortunately, there is no way to be one hundred percent sure if another human being is suicidal—even if it's your own child. There is no clear profile of the suicidal adolescent.
However, there ARE signs you can watch for. Epidemiological studies have identified variables correlated with suicide risk, and becoming familiar with them will stack the deck in your favor, giving you time to intervene before your child becomes desperate enough to harm himself.
According to the American Association of Suicidology and other organizations, most suicidal teens will have one or more of the following risk factors:

• Prior suicide attempt
• Expression of thoughts of suicide, death, dying, or the afterlife, in the context of sadness, boredom, hopelessness, loneliness or other negative feelings; risk is even higher if he has a specific suicide plan
• Presence of a psychiatric disorder (e.g., depression, drug or alcohol abuse, behavior disorders, conduct disorder and/or incarceration, etc.)
• Impulsivity, irritability, and aggressive behavior; frequent expressions of rage
• Increasing use of alcohol or drugs
• Exposure to another's suicide, especially a family member or friend
• Recent severe stressor (e.g., struggling with gender identity, unplanned pregnancy, loss of a parent, recent trauma, anticipated losses, etc.)
• Family instability or significant family conflict

The following is a general list of things to keep in mind when assessing your child for potential suicidal risk. The list is in no way comprehensive but will give you a general idea of the kinds of behaviors to notice. A child thinking about suicide may exhibit:

• Sad, anxious or "empty" mood (for example, talking about being a bad person, unworthy or not good enough)
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Changes in weight, appetite, or eating habits
• Deteriorating grooming habits
• Talking about or preoccupation with death (for example, writing poems about death)
• Declining school performance or poor school experience; feeling like he has failed to live up to his own or someone else's expectations
• Signs of psychotic thinking, such as delusions, hallucinations or bizarre thoughts
• Intolerance of praise or rewards
• Loss of pleasure/interest in social or sports activities
• Giving away prized possessions
• Dramatic changes in personality—such as acting like a rebel when he's usually timid, becoming violent or aggressive, or running away.
• Suddenly becoming cheerful after a period of sadness/depression
• Deteriorating relationships with friends or family; trouble with a girlfriend or boyfriend; withdrawing from people he used to feel close to
• Out of character boredom or trouble concentrating
• Abuse of alcohol or drugs
• Physical complaints that seem to have no physical basis, such as headaches, stomachaches, etc.

You might find this Teen Suicide Risk Calculator useful. However, keep in mind that every child is different, so I would caution you to not rely exclusively on one source of information or tool.
YOU know your child best!
The bottom line is, trust your gut feelings. If you are concerned, consult a professional for help. If you believe your child is in imminent danger, take him to the nearest Emergency Department or call the police for help.
There are also national suicide hotlines. The main National Suicide Hotline is 800-SUICIDE or 800-273-TALK. There is also a teen hotline, 714-NEW-TEEN.

QUESTION: Do You Have Any of These Common Misconceptions?

Dr. Robert A. King, professor at Yale University and a psychiatrist at the Yale Child Study Center, has done extensive research on adolescent suicide. According to Dr. King, there are three main misconceptions about teen suicide:

1. "My teenager might attempt suicide if he has a bad day." Although an upsetting episode is often the immediate trigger, the vast majority of adolescents who commit suicide have had long-standing emotional problems, such as depression or substance abuse.
2. "If I ask my teenager about suicide, I might put the idea in her head." Research shows that distressed or previously suicidal adolescents actually feel LESS distressed or suicidal following surveys that ask them about it, rather than more so. So the best thing you can do if you are concerned that your child is suicidal is to ask. Open up honest dialog, and let her know you're concerned.
3. "I should start thinking about suicide prevention when my child reaches adolescence." Some of the most effective long-term prevention measures begin in early childhood. The earlier your child learns how to effectively deal with negative emotions, the less at risk she will be.

Kids are Increasingly Targeted With Antidepressants – A Dangerous Proposition that Might Be a Driving Factor for Rising Suicide Rates

Every year, 230 million prescriptions for antidepressants are filled, making them one of the most prescribed drugs in the United States. The amount of drugs being given to U.S. children is outrageous, and the extent of the problem becomes clear when you compare the statistics with other countries. U.S. children are getting three times more prescriptions for antidepressants as kids from Germany and the Netherlands, for example.
Depression can indeed progress to suicide if left untreated. But do antidepressants work to alleviate the symptoms of depression?
NO, they don't.
Studies continue to show antidepressant drugs are not any more effective than a placebo, and in some case less effective. A study published in the January 2010 issue of JAMA, concluded there is little evidence that SSRIs (a popular group of antidepressants that includes Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft) have any benefit to people with mild to moderate depression.
SSRIs were 33 percent effective, just like a sugar pill—but with far more adverse effects, including violence and suicidal thoughts and actions. Another study presented at the Neuroscience conference in 2009 tells a similar story.
Not only are these drugs ineffective, but there is much evidence that they intensify violent thoughts and behaviors, both suicidal and homicidal. It's rather telling that seven of the last 12 school shootings were perpetrated by children who were either on antidepressants or withdrawing from them! Besides introducing risk without benefit, antidepressants may be making depression more chronic.
In an interview with medical journalist and Pulitzer Price nominee Robert Whitaker, Dr. Whitaker explains how patients who take antidepressants seem to have more relapses back into depression. In fact, 85 percent of people treated with antidepressant drugs become chronically depressed, compared to only 15 percent who stay well for a long period of time.
So, antidepressants appear to be changing depression from a "transitory" illness into a more chronic illness. Antidepressants are clearly not the answer for a depressed child or adolescent. But if we take those off the table, then what is the answer?

A Technique Offering Great Hope—and it's FREE

My favorite technique for clearing out the negative emotions that sometimes lead to depression is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT isn't just for adults—it's being used by children for all sorts of different issues ranging from stomachaches to bedwetting, sprains and strains, phobias, social anxiety, learning problems, hyperactivity, sleep difficulties, stress management—and depression.
Children are generally quick learners, as well as being very open to learning something new. The earlier you teach your child EFT, the better.
Some innovative groups have developed wonderful EFT learning tools for children in the form of cuddly stuffed bears with the tapping points marked on them (TappyBear, Magic Buttons Bear), which makes EFT fun. Children can project their fears onto the bear and tap on him, which they sometimes find more fun than tapping on themselves.
One EFT practitioner, Mary Stafford M.Ed.,LPC,EFT-Adv, has even developed an EFT "shortcut" for kids, which simplifies the process by limiting the tapping points to only four (instead of 8 to 10) when teaching EFT to children.
EFT has been successfully taught to children as young as age 2 (here's a video of 2 year old using EFT.)
Teaching your children how to do their own "emotional housekeeping" through EFT is a gift that will serve them well throughout their lives. The time to start is BEFORE issues begin to appear—so the earlier, the better.

Other Practical Suggestions for Nurturing Your Child's Mental Health

In addition to EFT, there are eight important strategies to employ if your child is struggling with his emotions. These strategies have nothing but positive effects and are generally very inexpensive to implement.

1. Take time to really talk to, and listen to, your child. Sometimes the difference between feeling helpless and feeling hope is just knowing that you are loved. Teach positive coping skills, and let your child know it is okay—even desirable— to ask for help.
2. Control access to potentially dangerous items in your home, such as guns and pills.
3. Make sure your child is getting adequate exercise. Regular exercise is one of the secret weapons against depression, helping to normalize insulin levels while boosting the "feel good" hormones in your child's brain. Getting them moving can do wonders for their mental health (and yours!) and is a major improvement over sitting in front of a television or computer.
4. Encourage your child to go outside and play in the sunshine. Safe sun exposure allows your child's body to produce vitamin D, which is great for his mood. One study even found that people with the lowest levels of vitamin D were 11 times more prone to depression than those who received adequate vitamin D. Just make sure your child doesn't overdo it and get sunburned.
5. Limit the amount of sugar, soda, grain, and processed food your child eats. Doing so will help normalize his insulin level and prevent his becoming another victim of childhood obesity. Sugar causes chronic inflammation, which disrupts immune function and can wreak havoc on the brain; sugar consumption is directly linked with depression.
6. Supplement your child's diet with a high quality omega-3 fatty acid, such as krill oil. This may be one of the most significant nutrients preventing depression. DHA is one of the Omega-3 fatty acids in salmon and krill oil, and many children don't get enough of it. Low DHA levels have been linked to depression.
7. Make sure your child gets adequate sleep. Set a bedtime and stick to it. Staying up texting friends or playing on the computer until the wee hours of the morning are going to have a detrimental effect on your child's mood, as well as on his overall health. Adequate rest has been proven to protect teenagers from depression and suicidal thoughts.
8. Encourage your teen in some sort of spiritual pursuit, or equally meaningful construct. The inclusion of these concepts has been found to promote resilience and healthy adolescent development. Studies show that adolescents with higher levels of spiritual well being have fewer depressive symptoms and fewer risk-taking behaviors.

Florida husband attempts suicide as search continues for dead wife, stepkids

Luis Toledo, 31, was in custody at the Volusia County Sheriff's Office when he smashed a mirror with his head and slit his wrist with the shards. The violent felon is the sole 'person of interest' in the disappearance of spouse Yessenia Suarez and her children, Michael and Thalia Otto.

By Doyle Murphy / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Monday, October 28, 2013, 8:03 AM

Volusia County Jail

Luis Toledo, 31, tried to commit suicide in a Florida jail days after authorities busted him on a battery charge and revealed he was the sole ‘person of interest’ in the disappearance of his wife and two stepkids, all of whom are confirmed dead.

A Florida man tried to kill himself in custody as investigators continue to search for the bodies of his wife and her two kids, authorities said.
Luis Toledo, 31, was talking to investigators on Saturday at the Volusia County Sheriff's Office when he asked to go to the bathroom. A deputy followed him, but Toledo blocked the door, smashed a mirror with his head and slit his wrist with the shards, a sheriff's spokesman said in a statement.
He was treated at a local hospital and returned to jail.
Luis Toledo is the sole “person of interest” in the disappearance of Yessenia Suarez and her two kids, 8-year-old Michael Otto and Thalia Otto, 9.
A sheriff’s spokesman told the Daily News that Toledo showed up at Suarez’s job on Tuesday and battered her.

Volusia County Sheriff's Office

Yessenia Suarez, 28, disappeared along with her children, 8-year-old Michael Otto and 9-year-old Thalia Otto, shortly after her husband showed up at her job in Lake Mary, Fla., and beat her up, authorities say.

He fled before local cops arrived, and Suarez disappeared shortly after.
Worried relatives asked sheriff’s deputies to check the couple’s home the next morning in Deltona, Fla., when Suarez didn’t answer her cellphone.
RELATED: MISSING FLORIDA MOM, 2 CHILDREN ARE DEAD: COPS

The house was empty, but Toledo arrived with deputies still there. He was taken into custody on a battery charge from the previous day’s confrontation with his wife.
The sheriff’s office announced Thursday it had confirmed the young mother and her kids are dead, but they have refused to say how they know.

Volusia County Sheriff's Office

Thalia Otto, 9, allegedly had violent fights with her stepfather and is believed to be dead along with her mother and younger brother.

Investigators found Suarez’s car in the parking lot of a Publix grocery store, but it’s not clear what else they’ve found.
The bodies are still missing, and a sheriff’s spokesman told the Daily News the search would continue Monday in Volusia and neighboring Seminole County.
Florida news helicopters videotaped searchers combing through landfills and areas near American K-9 Detection Services, where Suarez worked.
The Orlando Sentinel reported Toledo has a violent history as a teenage member of the Latin Kings street gang.
State prison records show he served four years for an armed home invasion and a separate burglary. He was released in 2008.

Volusia County Sheriff's Office

Searchers were seen combing through Florida landfills for the bodies of Michael Otto, 8, his mother and older sister.

RELATED: FLA. WOMAN, 2 KIDS DISAPPEAR FOLLOWING ATTACK BY HUSBAND: SHERIFF
His rap sheet also includes a failed shooting, and he beat charges he and other gangsters clubbed a woman with a bat and choked her with a plastic bag, the Sentinel reported.
Suarez’s father said Toledo and his daughter fought often, sometimes violently, and she planned to divorce him.
“I’ve been praying a lot, and I’m hoping my daughter shows up with my grandkids,” Emilio Suarez told WFTV.
He often stayed with the couple and witnessed their rocky relationship. His daughter had a bad temper, and the fights sometimes turned ugly, he told the station.
“I have seen a lot of kind of domestic violence, fighting and pushing each,” Emilio Suarez said.
The couple occasionally separated, but she always came back, Emilio Suarez said. He’s still hopeful he’ll see her again.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/fla-man-attempts-suicide-search-continues-dead-wife-stepkids-article-1.1498701#ixzz2jAJwYYUy